When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match – Review

 As many of you know, I’m a huge bookworm. I’m always trying to further my own education about sexuality and gender through reading — and I’m the first to suggest that others do so as well. Although I’ve done a few book reviews here at EROcentric in the past, there are so many other amazing books that fall through the cracks…usually because I don’t want to write an intricate and polished post about them.  

So I want to try something a little different from here on out. I want to create more short & informal blog posts focused on what I’m reading in real time: part review, part suggestion, and part reading journal. These posts may appear randomly as I complete a new book, or they may be posted on schedule particularly hectic weeks. As always, my favorite books will be listed on my Library page for quick reference. 



Pertot - Sex Drives

In my recent search for sex-related reading material, I stumbled upon Sandra Pertot’s When Your Sex Drives Don’t MatchReaders of mine may recall that I have been trying to navigate a lower than “normal” libido (compared to both my partner & my past self). And although it may be too soon to tell for sure, I feel that this book has potentially been a relationship changer.

In the first part of this book, Pertot (a practicing sex therapist) lists & describes 10 different “libido types” — the ways that each of us, as individuals, relate to sexual activity. She reassures readers that there is no right or wrong libido type, and remains optimistic that many couples who differ in type can still maintain a satisfying relationship.

In the second part, Pertot provides readers with a detailed plan for communicating with their partner. She has developed several exercises, with plenty of questions to clarify not only what is “ideal” — but what is “good enough” in your sexual relationship. She makes you confront your fears & insecurities, while also identifying your strengths. She asks you to put yourself in your partner’s position, answering questions from their point of view, in order to clear up misunderstandings. Finally, she has you brainstorm ways to achieve mutual satisfaction. 

If you and your partner are experiencing a mismatch in libido (whether it’s in frequency, type of sex, methods of initiation, etc)…I highly suggest reading this book and completing the exercises together. Even though my partner & I had discussed this issue many times before, Pertot’s “Talk” gave me a better understanding of how we each approach sex (what it means to us, what we need from it, what we can compromise on, etc). Through that, I have seemingly developed more confidence and a renewed sense of my sexual self. I’m not feeling so “broken” anymore.

(This mini-review was originally featured on my Tumblr.)

We-Vibe Tango: Old Version [review]

The We-Vibe Tango is the little darling among the sex blogging crowd. I had read many reviews singing the praises of its powerful and rumbly vibrations, but I still wasn’t entirely convinced. I mean…it couldn’t possibly be as strong as my beloved (electrically powered) Magic Wand Original — and for a significantly higher price?! No, I waited until the new & improved Tango was released and I was able to snag an older, discounted version from Sex Toys Canada. (Although my review will be based on the older model, I will also comment on the aspects that have been improved upon.)

tangoeditDescription

The We-Vibe Tango is your typical bullet vibrator, shaped very similarly to a tube of lipstick, angled tip and all. It measures 3.5″ long by .75″ wide. Because of this standard size, it can be paired with most (if not all) toys that have a bullet cavity — including many amazing Tantus products.

My Tango came packaged in a tastefully designed cardboard box, featuring a photo of the toy and some basic product information. Inside was the Tango itself, the infamous magnetic charging cord, a small instruction manual, and a surprisingly large storage pouch.

While my photos will be of the old rose-colored version, the new Tango is available in hot pink, blue, and white (if ordered as part of the Pleasure Mate Collection). All versions, old & new, are made of hard ABS plastic. They are non-porous and body-safe, smooth to touch, waterproof, and easy to clean.

 

We-Vibe Tango PatternsThe Tango has a reputation for being the “world’s most powerful mini-vibe” and that’s NOT just a marketing ploy. I’ve never had a vibrator that spins and rotates and bounces as much as this one when I lay it down somewhere. There are 8 different vibration modes: 4 levels of constant vibration and 4 patterns. The Tango only has one button, which cycles through all of the vibration modes and then turns the toy off. However, if you press & hold the button for a couple of seconds, the Tango will turn off immediately and remember your vibration mode for next time.

ExperienceWe-Vibe Tango

It’s no secret that I’m a power queen when it comes to vibration… and despite how skeptical I was at first, the We-Vibe Tango did not disappoint! In fact, it rivals the Magic Wand Original for me, perfect for those times when I want to slow down and really enjoy my pleasure. (Or when I prefer a smaller toy, like during partnered sex.) Because the vibrations are deeper and more rumbly, I can even reach orgasm on lower settings without a lot of frustration.

Although I don’t often pair it with bullet-compatible toys, I’ve been genuinely surprised by how well the Tango’s vibrations travel through the thick silicone of my Tantus G-Spot vibrating dildo. The bad news is that, when using the Tango alone, these vibrations will also travel through your hand. It’s definitely a toy that can cause numbness, and We-Vibe actually suggests not using it in one spot for more than 15 minutes at a time. For all of its power, the We-Vibe Tango is amazingly quiet. And although it definitely warms up during use, I’ve never had it get “hot.”

DSC03302My biggest issue with the Tango so far has been its poor battery life. Although We-Vibe claims that the product lasts for 2 hours (on every 90 minute charge), that estimate varies greatly depending on which vibration setting you use. For example, my Tango only lasts 45 minutes on “ultra.” While this is usually enough to get me through 2-3 sessions, I do need to constantly remind myself to charge it — unlike many of my other toys. It doesn’t help that the old-style magnetic charger is notorious for being finicky and will lose its connection at the slightest jostle. (The new model has improved upon this design, thereby creating a stronger connection. It also has a blinking indicator light for when the battery becomes low.)

Lastly, there’s a couple of craftsmanship issues that need mentioning. Many Tangos (mine included) have a tiny imperfection near the tip that occurs during the molding process. It’s only a pinpoint-sized divot, so I have never been able to notice it during use. But it is something to be aware of. Secondly, although I haven’t experienced any DSC03306trouble as of yet, many others have reported a relatively short lifespan for their beloved Tangos. According to We-Vibe, this issue has been addressed in the internal workings of the new version. However, it’s still pretty early to know for sure. My advice is to hang onto those serial numbers — just incase you need to use the 1-year warranty.

Recommendation

The We-Vibe Tango is definitely the most powerful vibrator of it’s size. It takes bullet-compatible toys to a whole new level, it’s perfect for partnered sex, and it’s great for travel (just be aware that it doesn’t have a locking function). Although it might seem pricey for a bullet, it’s well worth it if you’re looking for intense, rumbly vibrations. It’s quickly become a favorite of mine, and I find it hard to believe that any other bullet will ever compare.

5stars

Pros: small, unobtrusive during partner sex, standard size for bullet-compatible toys, extremely intense & rumbly vibrations, body-safe ABS plastic, quiet, rechargeable, & waterproof

Cons: rather short battery life on highest setting, finicky magnetic charger, some reports of product defects

If you’re interested in purchasing the We-Vibe Tango, please consider ordering from my affiliates: SheVibePeepshow ToysGood Vibrations, or Lovehoney.

HedoVibes #78

missrubyPhoto courtesy of Miss Ruby Reviews

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.

CONTESTS

DILDOS

VIBRATORS

ANAL TOYS

RINGS & STROKERS

BONDAGE, IMPACT, & FETISH GEAR

LUBES & CONDOMS

EROTIC BOOKS

MISCELLANEOUS

hedo150

 

Traz Rhino: Sleek & Genesis [review]

Confession: I have a bit of a size queen fantasy.

I classify it as purely a fantasy because I’ve never actually had vaginal intercourse with anyone who is “above average.” My collection of vibrators & dildos doesn’t even include anything larger than 1.75″ in diameter and 7″ in length. But I do enjoy the sensation of being full, and I often seek out pornography with very well-endowed male actors.

A few years ago, my partner & I decided to explore my fantasy by purchasing a cheap cock sheath. Unfortunately, I knew absolutely nothing about body-safe sex toys, and the first time that we used it quickly became the last. The questionable material led to a burning sensation in my genitals, and the (very uncomfortable) strap broke once my partner tried to remove the toy. It was not an experience that either of us cared to repeat, and we hadn’t looked into extensions since.

But when Traz contacted me about reviewing their Rhino line, I was instantly intrigued. A silicone penis extender that doubles as a male masturbation sleeve?! How could I possibly say no?

Description

Rhino PackagingThe Rhino by Traz comes in three different sizes, but my experience is limited to the Sleek (8″ long with a 1.5″ diameter) and the Genesis (8″ long with a 2″ diameter). I chose not to review the third size, the Stampede, because I found it much too intimidating. (According to the lovely Kara Sutra, the Stampede measures 8″ long with a 2.2″ diameter. It also has wider spaced internal ridges than the other two models.) Each size comes in three different color options: vanilla (pictured in this review), chocolate, and cinnamon. The Sleek is also available in a fun glow-in-the-dark version.

The Traz Rhino is packaged in a tastefully designed cardboard box, printed with basic product information and featuring a glimpse of the toy itself. Inside the box, you will find instructions for use and 3 main components: the hollow & internally ribbed extension, an inner “sizing core,” and a very small “no slip grip tip” plug. Every part of the Rhino extenders is made from body safe and non-porous silicone that is very flexible & squishy. (Just to be sure that it was in fact silicone, I flame-tested the sizing core and it passed with flying colors.) Its semi-matte finish also attracts a ridiculous amount of dust and hair, making my Lelo Toy Cleaning Spray very useful for this toy.

Rhino PartsThe instructions (viewable here and here) are lengthy, but pretty simple. First, trim the sizing core to fit the space between the tip of the penis and the tip of the hollow sleeve. (Although it says to use scissors, an X-acto knife seemed to create a more clean cut.) If the sleeve itself is too long, this can also be trimmed for a better fit. Then, with the help of some water-based lubricant, insert the sizing core and the penis. Finally, make sure that any excess air has been squeezed out and insert the plug into the small hole at the tip of the sleeve. This creates a vacuum seal and allows the extension to stay in place without the use of straps or buckles. It seriously works like magic! (Though I still wouldn’t take the risk and use it for anal play.)

Experience

Penile Masturbation

As my readers know, I do not have a penis. Therfore, this portion of my review is thanks to my awesome partner and his willingness to experiment.

Honestly, my partner did not have high expectations for this toy. He has a history of being underwhelmed by strokers like the Tenga Eggs, and he didn’t believe that this would be much different. He was also unconvinced that (1) his penis would fit comfortably into the extension, and (2) the plug would be enough to maintain suction.

Rhino Inside

He was pleasantly surprised to find that the Rhino fit him perfectly: easy to penetrate with the help of a little lubrication — but snug enough that the silicone gripped his penis with or without the use of the plug. This grippiness seems to allow for a unique masturbation experience that doesn’t require large stroking motions and also doesn’t overstimulate the genitals (like vibrations can). As someone who becomes severely hyper-sensitive after orgasm, this product provided the perfect amount of sensation throughout his entire experience.

Rhino Stretch

He did have a preference for using the Sleek rather than the Genesis. The thinner silicone allowed for more nuanced pressure and sensation from his hand. There were also benefits and drawbacks to using the sizing core. With the core inserted, he risked uncomfortably bumping into it. But without the core, the end of the extension was a little floppy and awkward. It’s really a matter of personal preference.

5stars

Vaginal Masturbation

sleek genesis compareBecause the size of the Traz Rhino extensions made me a little apprehensive, I decided to pair them with the most realistic & average sized dildo I own, the Tantus Bound. However, the Rhino sleeves are stretchy enough to accommodate larger sizes as well. (For example: With extra lube and a bit of muscle power, I was able to insert the Tantus Vamp‘s 1.75″ diameter into both sleeves.)

My masturbatory experience with the Sleek was essentially problem free… but sadly unremarkable. After a small amount of resistance during the initial insertion, thrusting was fairly easy and I experienced no discomfort. Unfortunately, without a curve or a distinct head, I also experienced no internal stimulation outside of feeling stretched. All claims to its “G-spot targeting” capabilities were lost on my anatomy.

Moving onto the Genesis proved to be much more of a challenge, no matter how much I warmed-up or added lubricant. Not only was there resistance during insertion, but I experienced actual discomfort due to the constant, unrelenting girth. I could not manage to insert the full length of the Genesis. And even with very cautious thrusting, there would be moments when I would move a certain way or my vagina would clench around the toy, causing a brief but very distinct pain.

Rhino SquishThe good news is that Traz’s choice of silicone provided an especially squishy layer that lubed up easily and did not create much drag during use. This, and the fact that there is no texture, definitely made the large size of these items a bit more manageable — especially for someone pushing their size limits.

2star

Partnered Sex

I was surprised to find that using the Rhino extenders with a partner was very different from our experiences of using them alone.

The Sleek, while relatively easy to use during masturbation, was suddenly difficult and unpleasant with my partner inside of it. Although I was gradually able to adjust to the girth, the length was a major problem — painfully slamming into my cervix time and time again. My partner (who was experiencing decreased sensation through the sleeve) quickly became concerned about hurting me, causing his thrusts to be awkward & reserved, which significantly reduced his pleasure as well.

We did find that we had the best luck (and least pain) in the “spoons” position, where thrusting is much more limited. The added length even prevented him from accidentally slipping out. However, our lubricant dried out on both the interior and exterior of the sleeve long before either of us could reach a climax. (My partner suggests adding more lube than you think will be necessary in order to prevent feeling raw eventually.) In the end, every time we tried using the Rhino Sleek, we removed it because it created too many complications & not enough pleasure.

Sleek & Genesis

 As for the Genesis… We tried. We failed. And I am convinced that it is impossible. (Seriously, it’s a beast. With the Tantus Vamp inside, it is nearly the size of a damn soda can!)

On the bright side, all the awkwardness & experimentation did help us to test how well the product works during the loss of an erection. For the most part, it stayed fairly securely attached. (I might suggest keeping ahold of the base with one hand as an added precaution though.) Overall, if the receptive partner can handle the extra girth, it does seem like this toy might be a good option for those dealing with some types of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.

2star

Cleaning

Despite silicone being non-porous, I still worried that cleaning the interior of the toy would be a hassle. However, I’ve found that briefly soaking the Rhino sleeve in a sink full of warm soapy water, while squishing water through the sleeve and out through the plug hole, does a wonderful job. Just to be safe, my advice is to slide out the sizing core and clean all the individual parts before lubrication and body fluids have a chance to dry inside the toy.

Recommendation

As a penile masturbation sleeve, I cannot recommend the Rhino enough. In fact, both my partner and I wish that Traz would abandon much of their “bigger is better” marketing (which we feel panders to male insecurities) and put more focus on the unique masturbatory experience that they offer. As I’ve mentioned, the Rhino extensions are made from high quality and body-safe silicone, which is super rare to find in penile toys, and that is something that Traz definitely deserves praise for!

As far as vaginal intercourse goes… Fantasies are sometimes better than reality, and unfortunately these toys were simply not for me. My vagina is way too inexperienced for it. However, if you love large toys, I think that this would be a very wonderful addition to partnered sex. It certainly adds a bit of novelty to an otherwise familiar experience, keeping sex fun.

However, if you’re looking for a toy to use primarily during female masturbation, my advice is to get a more detailed, girthy silicone dildo elsewhere. If nothing else, it’ll be much less of a hassle than handling 4 separate parts — and will probably be similarly priced ($50-$80).

Traz Rhino

A special thanks to Traz for sending me the Rhino Sleek & Genesis in exchange for an unbiased review! If you would like to purchase your own Rhino product, please consider ordering from my affiliate, SheVibe. If you would prefer the Glow-in-the-Dark Sleek or the Rhino Stampede, you can find those items at Traz’s website.

HedoVibes #74

LELO_Etherea_Cuffs_Blk-6Photo courtesy of Cara Sutra

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.

CONTESTS

DILDOS

VIBRATORS

ANAL TOYS

RINGS & STROKERS

BONDAGE, IMPACT, & FETISH GEAR

LUBES & CONDOMS

EROTIC BOOKS

MISCELLANEOUS

hedo150