A Sex Blogger Who is Afraid of Sex?

I’ve been silent lately. Most days, my energy is zapped simply by existing; making it through another day at a job that I am growing to despise, escaping into a pile of fiction, and convincing myself that “lurking on social media” is synonymous with “being social.” The blog has gone stagnant in the nearly 2 months since my last review — and it all somehow seems outside of my control. My backlog of sex toys is long and unmoving and it causes me so much anxiety that I often feel like there is a tiny mouse inside of my heart, clawing & chewing on very vital things.

At this point, my relationship with sex is a wreck. There are so many layers that I don’t even know what’s at the root of my issues anymore.

Is my birth control causing my low libido? Is the depression making it worse? (Or is the birth control suddenly making the depression worse again?) Maybe the weight I’ve gained in the last year has destroyed my body image and made me feel unsexy? (Is the depression making me gain weight too?) Am I simply putting too much pressure on myself and creating a negative feedback loop? …Or (and this is most terrifying of all) is this simply the way that I am now?

Everything is too tangled up to make sense.

As you all know, I’ve been dealing with “low libido” for years. It started as a lack of spontaneous desire. Then (as I began to realize the last time I wrote about struggling through painful sex) it became increasingly difficult to experience responsive desire and arousal — mentally or physically. More and more often, I was masturbating simply to release physical stress; using my Hitachi for a quick 2 minutes while I continued to watch Netflix. My orgasms became something that was happening to my body; a physiological equation that my mind never needed to enter into.

With my partner, I began initiating quickies & rushing through sex as much as possible. It required less energy and it was easier that way; if I didn’t give my body or mind the time to get aroused, then I couldn’t be disappointed when it didn’t happen. And of course, it was precisely when we did attempt to slow down and focus on “foreplay” that I finally fell apart. After an hour of kissing and touching, it became obvious to both of us that the only emotion I felt was an increasing panic that I didn’t feel anything sexual at all.

I cried myself to sleep that night and I’m crying again as I write this. It’s probably been over 2 months since my partner and I have had intercourse; the longest we’ve gone since we became sexually active. I so desperately want to want sex again… but I just don’t. To be honest, I’m actually terrified of being sexual with him — of being sexual at all — because I worry that I’m not strong enough to battle my own (perceived) shortcomings and self-hatred. I can’t even study sex in an academic way anymore without feeling like a failure. I listen to other people talk about craving or enjoying sex and I get incredibly sad & jealous. That used to be me. I used to have those emotions. Now I just feel broken.

And the worst part is, I absolutely know that the longer I drag this out, the harder it becomes to bounce back. I constantly feel like I’m letting everyone down: myself, my partner, the companies that I have partnered with on this blog, my readers. The last couple of times that I have tried to masturbate for reviews, my negative emotions have spilled out in the form of physical pain during insertion or orgasm. Not exactly a glowing endorsement for a product that should induce pleasure.

I guess what I’m saying is… I’m still here; I’m just in the background right now, trying to gather up the strength to battle this out. I am not planning on giving up the blog or the wonderful sex-positive community that I have become a part of, but I also don’t know how to be a sex blogger while I am actively dreading sex. At this point, all I know is that I need to find a way to take the stress & pressure out of the situation. I’m just too exhausted & confused to know how to begin.

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PicoBong Kiki 2 Review

PicoBong recently released a 2nd, new & improved line of 5 previous designs: the Kiki (mini external vibe), Ipo (finger vibe), Tano (butt plug vibe), Honi (bullet vibe w/ retrieval cord), and Mahana (U-shaped dual stimulation vibe). These revamped vibrators may look exactly the same as before, but they boast one major difference: twice the power!

description textPicoBong is the more affordable/less luxurious sister brand of Lelo. They value body-safety while cutting expenses in other areas: rechargeability, fancy packaging — and laughably pointless extravagance. They have separated themselves from Lelo’s golden dildos, bro-marketed cock rings, and satin penis suits. (Seriously. It’s like they’re getting sex toy ideas from The Onion over there.) Instead, PicoBong’s designs are neon-colored, frill-free, and almost always under $100. If Lelo products were made for rich business executive Barbie, PicoBong is definitely targeting her younger beach-partying sister, Skipper.

PicoBong Kiki - sizeWhen PicoBong contacted me about reviewing one of their new “Power Up” products, I was intrigued. Although I didn’t have any previous experience with their old line, the idea that they had doubled their power — from a single AAA battery — appealed to me. Powerful vibrations are my jam and if I could recommend a halfway decent $40 vibe, I’d be a happy blogger.

The Kiki 2 is a bullet-sized (4″ long, 1″ wide) vibrator with a diagonal flattened tip, created for external stimulation. It is made from hard ABS plastic and is almost completely covered in a thin layer of velvety soft matte silicone. The bottom of the toy (the only portion NOT covered in silicone) twists off to accommodate 1 AAA battery — which PicoBong claims will last 2 hours. It is available in 3 colors (hot pink, turquoise, and black) and is waterproof up to 1 meter. The noise level is advertised as “near silent,” but I’d still suggest a closed door & maybe some light music/TV to drown out the sound if you need to be discreet.

The Kiki 2 has extremely simple 2-button controls: the + button turns the toy on and increases vibration intensity, while the – button decreases intensity and eventually turns the toy off. (Both buttons are “hidden” within the large PicoBong logo embossed on one side.) Honestly, I have no idea how many vibration settings it has. Some online reports for the original Kiki say 18, but I certainly can’t distinguish between that many. I do know that once you have reached maximum intensity, you can then press & hold the + button to cycle through the 12 vibration patterns. Unfortunately, I don’t think that there is a way to decrease the intensity while using the patterns; the – button simply returns you to a constant steady vibration.

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Included with the Kiki 2 is a small instruction manual & a 1-year warranty. It comes packaged within a very minimal cardboard box with a plastic front and a ridiculous fake history of the toy written on the back.

“Found inside a meteorite in Siberia in 1908, the original Kiki was long kept a state-secret due to the uncontrollable pleasure it would bring to anyone who approached it. It was eventually smuggled out and resurfaced in San Francisco 1967, accidentally beginning the sexual revolution and the Summer of Love.”

I couldn’t make this shit up.

experience textSometimes we have to remind ourselves that optimism should be cushioned with realistic expectations. This is especially important when you are a self-professed power queen with a tiny battery-powered vibrator in your hand. I didn’t expect the Kiki 2 to compare to a wand massager or my beloved We-Vibe Tango. I set the bar low. All I wanted was a relatively easy orgasm; a task that is normally quite simple for me, despite what you would assume from my love of all things strong & rumbly.

PicoBong Kiki - batteryI was impressed when I powered up the Kiki 2 for the first time. At the very least, it makes my Lelo Lily feel like the $100+ paperweight that it is. At best, I would compare it to the Jopen Key Comet II — or perhaps even a buzzier version of the We-Vibe Touch’s lowest setting.

But even though it seemed strong enough, the Kiki 2 did not give me easy orgasms. Before using this toy, I had believed that medium-to-high vibrations were all that my clitoris needed. Broad vs. pinpoint? Buzzy vs. rumbly? I had my preferences, but none of these things seemed to be a deal breaker — on their own. The Kiki 2, however, combines all of my least favorite forms of stimulation: buzzy vibrations, medium intensity, & pinpoint shape.

Actually reaching orgasm with the Kiki 2 requires immense concentration & absolutely perfect conditions. My masturbation session is no longer fun; it’s an absurd test of my endurance — with very strict rules.

  1. PicoBong Kiki 2I cannot use a different (stronger) vibe beforehand, or my clit is desensitized to the Kiki 2’s meager efforts.
  2. I have to spread my labia out of the way & raise my clitoral hood in order to expose as much of my clit as I possibly can.
  3. I have to avoid lube, because it removes the small amount of friction that actually makes the vibration somewhat pleasurable.
  4. I cannot pair the Kiki 2 with an insertable toy, because even the simple act of thrusting a dildo makes the vibrations seem to fade away into the distance.
  5. And most ridiculously of all… I can’t allow myself to get too interested in the porn that I am watching, because it takes the concentration away from my clitoris.

If I abide by these rules for an agonizingly long amount of time, I am eventually rewarded with a very weak & disappointing orgasm. Hooray.

bottom line textObviously, the PicoBong Kiki 2 does not work for my body. But even if I remove my own bias; even if I consider that it could potentially be great for someone who enjoys buzzy, surface-level, pinpoint vibrations… I still have difficulty suggesting it based on the price.

PicoBong Kiki 2It simply does not feel like a $40 toy to me. It may be body-safe, but everything else about it still reminds me of my first $20 vibrator from Spencer’s Gifts. And considering that you can buy some really amazing rechargeable toys for nearly the same price, simply by catching a good online sale… well, I really don’t see this as being a financially savvy decision. (Let’s not forget that the constant need for batteries will drive the price of the Kiki 2 up even more in the long run. Especially since PicoBong warns that using rechargeable AAAs will “result in decreased vibration intensity.”)

I’m all about catching good deals & getting the most bang for your buck — and that’s exactly why I cannot recommend the Kiki 2. There may not be anything inherently wrong with it (if you enjoy this type of vibration)… but unfortunately, there’s nothing outstanding about it either.

2star

Pros: nonporous & body-safe silicone, waterproof, multiple intensities & patterns, easy controls

Cons: battery-powered, buzzy vibrations, doesn’t seem worth the cost


Special thanks to PicoBong for sending me this item in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. 

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Affiliate links have not been used in this post, because none of my affiliates currently stock the updated version of this product.

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Womanizer W100 Review

The notorious Womanizer W100: a sex toy that erupted onto the scene like your eccentric old aunt, showing up to the family reunion in a faux-fur coat that more closely resembles a shag carpet, embellishing her sentences with fake-jeweled fingers flying dramatically through the air, and wanting to know when that damn valet is going to park her Geo Metro.

Luxury. Am I right?

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Womanizer W100The Womanizer is utterly cringeworthy in both name and design. It’s left sex toy reviewers befuddled as to how anyone could possibly think that such a hideous disaster is synonymous with “female pleasure.” (Although it helps if you first reduce all clitoris owners to their most narrow & cisnormative gender stereotypes.) It’s a toy that gave Dizzy flashbacks to the 80s: all animal prints & glittering rhinestones. Lilly aptly nicknamed hers “Blanche.” And Epiphora‘s review is to blame for the horrifying mental image I had of “sucking snot” from a clitoris. Sadly, they are all incredibly spot-on.

The Womanizer W100 looks like someone got the ridiculous idea to make a designer ear thermometer — and only asked for fashion tips from 12 year old girls. It’s available in varying colors of leopard print & crocodile skin, red roses, and edgy tattoo designs. (There’s even a $500+ limited edition Swarovski crystal version.) No matter what the style, one thing is consistent: it is always ugly.

Womanizer - buttonsMaybe I’m being a bit too harsh. In an industry where innovation is often advertised — but very difficult to actually come by — the Womanizer succeeds in being a one-of-a-kind sex toy. You place the nozzle (or “treatment head,” as they disgustingly call it) over your clitoris, pressing just enough to seal the edges against your skin, and passively wait for an orgasm to wash over you.

Its magic is often attributed to a subtle combination of suction & vibration, but I’m with Lilly in not being entirely convinced that suction is what’s actually going on here. It may feel like suction at first, especially when pressed against rounded parts of your body: the pad of your finger, tip of your nose, or yes — even your clitoris. But if you hover the nozzle over your lips (one of the most sensitive & discerning parts of your body), you’ll actually notice that the Womanizer seems to be blowing cool air rather than sucking it in.

Womanizer’s promotional video describes the technology as “pulsating pressure waves” and it’s exactly these pulses, like tiny quick bursts of air, that I think might be responsible for most of the vibrating sensation too. If you place your finger on one side of the nozzle, you won’t feel hardly any movement (even at maximum intensity). That sensation only comes from the inside — “vibrating” the edges after you’ve successfully prevented the air from escaping.

Bravo, Womanizer. This shit is genius.

Womanizer - packagingLike any respectable toy, the Womanizer is made from nonporous & body-safe materials: silicone & hard ABS plastic. However, unlike many “luxury” toys, it is not waterproof. (Thankfully, the silicone nozzle is removable for easy cleaning. You can simply wipe the body of the toy with a moist cloth.) At about 6″ long and 2″ wide, it is chunky — but still light as a feather. This may create the impression that it is cheaply made, but it also makes the toy extremely comfortable to hold.

The Womanizer has 6 different intensity levels to choose from. The obnoxiously huge gemstone button increases the intensity, but the toy does not decrease unless you press the power button. This immediately returns you to its lowest setting. (The controls are definitely a pain if you’re having a Goldilocks moment, trying to find a middle setting that is “just right.”) To turn the toy off, press & hold the power button for 2-3 seconds.

The Womanizer comes packaged in a thin cardboard box that is much more tastefully designed than the toy itself, though certainly not discreet. (Photos of the confusing-looking toy get paired with amusingly sexual tag lines such as “your private delight” and “100% lust & good feeling.”) Also included is a hard-shell storage/travel case, an extra silicone nozzle, a widely translated instruction manual, and a USB charging cord without an AC adapter. A full charge takes 4 hours and lasts for up to 90 minutes.

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As you’ve probably guessed by now (or read in the reviews of other bloggers), using the Womanizer is a unique experience.

Womanizer - nozzleWhen I first apply the nozzle of the Womanizer over my clitoris and turn it on, I amp up the intensity to its maximum setting. Because nothing is coming into direct contact with my clit (except for air), this still feels gentle compared to my favorite vibrators. Waiting for the toy to do its magic, I try very hard to keep my hand steady — but I always fail.

Tiny spasms of pleasure, or simply the slow passage of time, will invariably cause me to lose the perfect placement. Sometimes the sensations simply get too overwhelming, bypassing pleasure and going straight to discomfort. (Similar, but not nearly as intense as Redhead Bedhead‘s negative experience with this toy; a fantastic reminder that all bodies are different.) Whatever the cause… I’m forced to start over, spreading my labia out of the way again and readjusting the nozzle, trying to ignore that horrible gurgling noise that reminds me of the sound a toy airplane would make if it were flying through pudding.

I repeat this process at least 5 more times.

Womanizer - glowAll the while, that damn nozzle is glowing red like a clit beacon that mocks my inability to stay still. For a brief moment, I get frustrated & question whether this is really worth the effort. It feels good, but my orgasm still seems small & far away — until suddenly it doesn’t. The Womanizer makes my orgasms sneak up on me, very similar to my experience of receiving oral sex. My body instantly goes from the sexual equivalent of a dying white dwarf to an exploding supernova of pleasure. And just as quickly as it arrived, it’s over; the “pulsating pressure waves” turn into torture devices for my oversensitive little clitoris. I panic & rip my hand away, focusing on only one goal: Make. It. Stop.

Womanizer advertises that their product avoids over-sensitivity and assists with multiple orgasms, but this has NOT been my experience. There’s simply no good way to go from maximum intensity to a slow & gentle comedown with this toy; no way to patiently ride the waves of an orgasm as they gradually disappear. Even hitting the power button (returning to that first level) is too large of a jump, ending my orgasm prematurely. I’ve tried to amp back up again, but it doesn’t work. My clit remains unamused & far too exhausted to keep going. 

Womanizer W100And yet — despite how much of a pain in the ass it is — I somehow find myself reaching for the Womanizer. I crave its gentle-yet-relentless onslaught of magical air pulses. The feathery soft vibration that perfectly stimulates the area surrounding the clitoris, never touching it directly but teasing it into a frenzy.

My orgasms with the Womanizer are short. They are not necessarily better or stronger than what I can achieve with a strong vibrator. But they are subtly different — and that is something that I, as a sex toy reviewer, really appreciate.

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This is certainly one of the most confusing, on-the-fence reviews that I’ve ever had to write. When it comes to sex toys, I enjoy unique sensations. But that doesn’t help me to formulate advice on whether or not I think that this toy will work for you, dear readers. That’s part of the reason why I chose to link to so many other blogger reviews in this post — because I think that maybe one of us will describe the sensation in a way that works (or doesn’t work) for your body.

Womanizer W100It’s tough though. At $189, the Womanizer W100 is NOT cheap. And it’s certainly not easy for many of us —myself included— to drop that much money on a sex toy (especially one that receives such varied reviews).

So, I will simply say this: If you really enjoy pinpoint clitoral stimulation, find yourself getting bored with traditional vibrators, are willing to patiently fiddle with a toy that has a bit of a learning curve, and can ignore the horrible gaudiness of gemstones & animal prints… you might just enjoy the Womanizer.

Love it or hate it; if you try this toy, I would be absolutely thrilled to hear what you think. Leave a comment below, letting us know how YOU describe this one-of-a-kind sensation! 

4stars

Pros: innovative air technology, unique sensation, pinpoint clitoral stimulation, body-safe & nonporous, 6 intensity settings, removable nozzle tips for easy cleaning, rechargeable, comes with sturdy travel/storage case

Cons: horrible name & design, makes weird gurgling noise when not pressed against skin, no way to slowly back off if stimulation becomes overwhelming, not waterproof, nozzle glows red (can be distracting for some), expensive


Huge thanks to my affiliate, SheVibe, for providing me with this product in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. 

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If you would like to purchase the Womanizer W100, please consider supporting my blog by ordering through these links: black & leopard or red roses.  

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Lovehoney Desire Wand Review

If there is one type of sex toy that I can almost guarantee that I will enjoy, it’s the wand vibrator. As a group, wands just seem to have so much more power. And no matter if the vibrations are buzzy or rumbly, my vulva really seems to enjoy lots of intensity across a broad area. By focusing the vibrations on my labia or on top of my mons, I am able to enjoy indirect clitoral stimulation & remove the possibility of becoming overly sensitive. Wands are basically my secret weapon for multiple orgasms.

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Lovehoney Desire WandThe Desire Wand is part of Lovehoney‘s line of luxury, USB rechargeable sex toys — aptly named the “Desire” collection. All Desire products are made from body-safe & nonporous silicone, are completely waterproof, and range in price from $70-$100. With the exception of the cock ring, these toys also include a hard-shell travel/storage case and are only available in one color (purple).

The wand vibrator boasts 12 vibration speeds and 8 patterns. Its controls are incredibly simple. The + and – buttons control the intensity, while the circular button in the middle cycles through the patterns. Pressing and holding the + or – buttons also acts as a power switch — which unfortunately means that there is no way to turn this toy off instantly. It can, however, be locked by pressing and holding both the + and – buttons simultaneously for about 5 seconds.

The Desire Wand measures nearly 8.5″ long with a head that is approximately 2″ across. This makes it much smaller than traditional electrical wands such as the Hitachi Magic Wand or the Doxy, but it’s also significantly lighter and easier to hold. The seamless silicone finish is matte and velvety soft to the touch. The handle features a smooth & shiny piece of black plastic inset on one side — although I’m not sure why.

Lovehoney Desire Wand packageOn the very bottom of the wand is the “self-healing” charging port (an area of silicone where you poke the charger through and it magically reseals itself once the plug is removed). Unlike the We-Vibe Rave, Lovehoney promises that their self-healing port will remain waterproof; I’m personally too scared to submerge my wand and find out. (It does makes for stress-free cleaning though.) The instruction manual says that a 120-minute charge will last for up to 60 minutes of use or up to 90 days when left untouched in storage.

The Desire Wand comes packaged in a large black & purple cardboard box, featuring a tasteful photo of the product and a basic description. Also included is a small instruction booklet, the USB charging cord (no AC adaptor), and the aforementioned black, hard-shell storage case. (The storage case even has a tiny lock-compatible zipper & a small hole in one corner for “discreet charging.” Maybe it’s just me, but I imagine that a cord disappearing into a locked box would simply create more curiosity.)

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What can I say about Lovehoney’s Desire Wand? It’s a pretty simple toy that I enjoy using… but there’s nothing special about it to make me scream from the rooftop: “YOU MUST BUY THIS NAO!”

Lovehoney Desire Wand caseDoes it offer the strongest vibrations I’ve ever felt? No. But it’s still quite impressive for being rechargeable. In fact, my partner & I felt like the Desire Wand’s highest setting was very similar to the lowest setting of the Magic Wand Original. (It also seems more rumbly than the Magic Wand or the Doxy on their highest settings, yet buzzier than the Doxy’s lowest). It’s enough to bring me to orgasm without frustration, but I’m definitely going to need to work at it for more than a minute or two — which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Unlike many wand-style vibrators, the Desire Wand doesn’t harken back to the 1970s. It has the look & feel of a high quality, modern day sex toy with nothing cheap or tacky about the design or craftsmanship. It’s rechargeable, so you don’t have to worry about changing batteries or getting tangled up in cords while masturbating. It’s lighter and less tiring to hold than the larger electrical wands. And it doesn’t overheat in 20 minutes like the Original Magic Wand (or simply shut off like the Magic Wand Rechargeable).

My only complaint is the noise level. Normally, the vibrations are pretty quiet… but if you’re a “grinder” during masturbation, the extra pressure on the head makes the entire toy pretty rattley. It’s actually loud enough that I find myself getting distracted from whatever porn I’m watching — or, worst of all, from my own pleasure. It’s important to mention that the vibrations also travel through the handle, which could be an issue for some individuals as well.

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The Desire Wand is convenient to use & does a great job of slowing me down just enough so that an orgasm isn’t ripped out of my body before I’m even aroused. It’s a toy that I’m sure I will reach for often (which is a testament in itself, considering how many toys I have amassed and how often they languish in the bottom of a drawer). But the bottom line as to whether or not I can suggest this toy really comes down to the price.

Lovehoney Desire WandLovehoney’s Desire Wand is a $100 vibrator; that’s about $40 more expensive than the Original Magic Wand and only about $20-30 cheaper than the Doxy or the Magic Wand Rechargeable — depending on where you buy them from. It’s also more expensive than plenty of other wand-style options available through Lovehoney‘s website (although I can’t speak for the vibration strength or quality of the others).

In my opinion, the Desire Wand would be good for someone who doesn’t want the most powerful bang for their buck; someone looking for a small(ish), rechargeable unit that boasts a “luxury” feel and doesn’t technically climb into the triple digits — by one little penny.

If it were me, there would be no contest: I would rather save the extra money and purchase a Magic Wand. …But you all already knew I would say that, didn’t you?

4stars

Pros: acceptable (but not overwhelming) vibration intensity, multiple settings & patterns, simple controls, rechargeable — with good battery life, waterproof, light & comfortable to hold, best storage/travel case of all my toys, body-safe & nonporous silicone

Cons: rattles when pressed against the body, vibrations easily travel through handle, seems expensive when compared with more powerful wand vibrators


Special thanks to my affiliate, Lovehoney, for sending me this product in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. 

Free delivery on all orders over $40

If you would like to purchase the Lovehoney Desire Wand, please consider supporting my blog by doing so here. And don’t forget that you can currently save 20% with code: OFFER2020

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We-Vibe Rave Review

I am a power queen.

Whenever I turn on a new sex toy for the first time, I immediately max out the vibrations. I know that most of my vibrators will never be used on anything less than their highest setting. And even then, many will simply get passed over for my 2 favorites: the We-Vibe Tango or Hitachi Magic Wand. It’s not necessarily that I can’t climax without the power of ten billion buzzing bees between my legs1, it’s that I usually don’t want to. I’d rather spend my time aiming for multiple orgasms than struggling to my first.

When I heard that We-Vibe (makers of the most powerful bullet vibe in the world!) was releasing their first G-spot vibrator, I got super excited. So far, my strongest vibrators have not been insertable. And while I don’t typically require as much internal vibration to have a good time, I was still really hoping for a chance to rattle my G-spot into a state of utter exhaustion. description text

We-Vibe RaveThe We-Vibe Rave is a strange looking toy. It’s entirely asymmetrical — swooping slightly to the left on the handle & to the right towards the head, all while bending upwards to create an almost boomerang-like angle. There is also a slight twist in the design, forming an edge that is much sharper on one side than the other. It measures approximately 7.5″ long with a 1.25″ diameter.

The Rave is covered with a thin layer of body-safe & nonporous silicone that has a matte finish and is velvety soft to the touch. It lubricates easily to minimize drag and it doesn’t attract very much dust, lint, or hair in-between uses. The inner structure is incredibly firm, offering absolutely no bend or give.

On the front of the vibrator, there are 3 small, raised buttons. The + and – buttons are used to increase and decrease the vibration intensity. The o in the middle cycles through the 10 different vibration modes, offering a variety of pulses & waves. Any button will turn the toy on, starting immediately at whichever setting you used last. You can turn it off by either pressing & holding the o button or by cycling through all of the patterns.

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 12.04.27 AMAbove the control buttons is another small bullseye shape. This is the “self healing” charging port. (An area of silicone that you can poke the charger through without permanently damaging the toy.) Impaling a high-price toy always makes me uneasy, but that’s exactly how these sorts of chargers work. The idea is that the port will recover & protect itself against water without the need for a plug — although it’s important to notice that the Rave is only “splash-proof.” It is NOT fully waterproof. We-Vibe advertises that a 90 minute charge lasts for up to 2 hours of use.

We-Vibe Rave - ButtonsAs with many other We-Vibe products that have been released recently, the Rave is compatible with their We-Connect app. This allows you to pair the vibrator with your phone via Bluetooth and then connect with “lovers” via the app, chatting with them & giving them control over the toy’s settings. We-Connect also allows you to create your own custom vibration patterns.

The We-Vibe Rave is available in one color (purple) and comes packaged in a sturdy cardboard box with tasteful photos of the product & basic information printed on the outside. Included with the Rave is a USB charging cord (AC adaptor not included), storage bag, instruction booklet, and 1-year warranty.

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We-Vibe Rave - PackagingThis really shouldn’t come as a surprise: I absolutely love the vibrations! The Rave make me gasp every single time that I insert & position it before turning it on. It rumbles against my G-spot in such a way that the vibrations seem to travel through my whole body — or at least my entire pelvic region. My partner believes that it has the deepest, most penetrating vibrations of The We-Vibe Trifecta. Its vibration intensity is not quite Tango level… but still much stronger than the Touch. I actually have trouble selecting a good clit vibe to pair with it, because it tends to overshadow anything with less power. (Definitely a problem that I’m okay with having.)

The asymmetrical shape, on the other hand, did not win me over. I know that plenty of people will love the unique sensations it can create, but the sharp edges are a serious turn off for me. I can’t roll the toy across the front wall of my vagina (a technique I learned to love from the Key Jopen Comet II) without feeling like I am scraping out my insides. And the curve is just a little too intense to lose myself in thrusting. (At least it doesn’t get painfully hooked behind my pubic bone!)

We-Vibe RaveMy solution? I enjoy the complete absence of motion with the Rave. I might experiment a little here or there with very subtle movements, but most of the time I resort to pure unadulterated pressure. Its form is so solid that I can press down on the handle and shove the inserted end upwards with all of my might. I get the most pleasure from holding it there, allowing the vibrations to rattle through my body. My hand & arm eventually cramping from the force I’m exerting; my G-spot pleasurably sore after a few orgasms.

The only way that I can enjoy the asymmetrical shape is during clitoral stimulation — which the Rave also excels at. Externally, the different surfaces of the toy provide options depending on what type of stimulation you find most pleasurable. Broad, flat surface? Yep. Thin, pointed edge? It has you covered. And the curved length gives you a wonderful handle too.

The only across-the-board downside that I can find with the Rave is in the little things: the charging port & the We-Connect app.

We-Vibe Rave - ChargingNot only is the charging port what prevents this toy from being waterproof, it’s also in the worst possible place to get loads of lube & bodily fluids caked in & around it. (Seriously. Why place it right by the entrance to the
vagina?!
)

The app — well, it’s just frustrating. I tried testing it with both my partner & my best friend. My friend couldn’t even get the invite link to work on her phone. Fail. My partner managed to successfully connect as my “lover” and even do a video call with me… but the custom vibration modes never would work for either of us. Long-distance, wirelessly controlled sex toys are an awesome idea, but this one simply was not user-friendly or sexy — unless you get turned on by being horribly frustrated with technology. The only thing I enjoyed about the app was that it displays a percentage for how much charge my Rave has left.

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Even with the torture-chamber edges that totally scare my vagina and one of the most poorly designed charging ports in sex toy history, the Rave is still one of the best vibrators I have ever used. (Especially once I deleted the mobile app.)

The G-sport curve is spot on for my body & the toy is firm enough to apply loads of intense, unrelenting pressure. Add on some of the most rumbly, powerful vibrations that I have ever felt in an insertable vibrator and I am basically transported to my own personal Shangri-La.

Once again, We-Vibe proves that they know how to please the power queens of the world. And I am completely smitten.

5stars

Pros: incredibly strong & rumbly vibrations, curved for G-spot stimulation, firm enough to apply lots of pressure, asymmetry offers multiple options for clitoral stimulation, body-safe & nonporous silicone, easy controls, 10 vibration patterns, relatively quiet, rechargeable

Cons: not waterproof, charging port easily collects lube & bodily fluids, mobile/long-distance app is not user friendly, edges might feel uncomfortably sharp during internal use

Good-Vibrations-Logo-Rosie

Huge thanks to my wonderful affiliate, Good Vibrations, for sending me this product in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. 

If you would like to purchase the We-Vibe Rave, please consider supporting my blog by doing so here.


  1. One sex toy origin story (which is almost certainly a myth) states that the first-ever vibrator was created when Cleopatra filled a gourd with live bees. As you can imagine, this would require a whole hell of a lot of bees — and plenty of prayers that the gourd would not break.