Vote for Kinkly’s 2016 Sex Blogging Superheroes!


It’s that time of year again: The weather is changing, I’m trying to decide if I want to be Daria again for Halloween, and Kinkly is hosting their annual Sex Blogging Superheroes contest!

Kinkly is an absolutely amazing resource for sexual information. Their website is full of articles written by some of the top sexuality educators. They host an easy-to-browse directory for online sex toy reviews. They have compiled the most comprehensive (and filterable!) list of sexual positions that I have ever seen. And they also maintain the modern equivalent of the sex blogger yellow pages.

The Sex Blogging Superheroes contest aims to celebrate those sex positive individuals who are changing the world through their online writing. I pride myself on being included as one of their 2014 & 2015 Superheroes and I would like to ask for help from my readers this year as well.

If you enjoy the work that I do here at EROcentric and would like to show your continued support for my blog, please consider taking a brief moment to vote here. Every single vote helps keep this site alive & growing. <3

Although the 5-vote minimum deadline has passed, voting will remain open through the end of October. There’s no limit to the number of blogs that you can vote for, but you can only vote for each blogger once. (You don’t even have to create an account or share your e-mail address. Simply click on the blogger’s name to go to their individual page and look for the ‘Click Here to Vote’ button.)

And as always, if you’re looking for more sex bloggers to discover & vote for, please check out the list of Blogs I Love on my right sidebar. The #BlogSquad is a truly talented group of individuals!


I’m 27, Childfree, and I Had a Tubal Ligation!

Why a Tubal Ligation?

I’ve always known that I didn’t want children. Or rather, I’ve known since the moment that I realized it was an option.

I grew up in a rural, conservative area where raising a family is an expectation. The only people I knew who didn’t have children were those who were not able to. Still, by the time I was 14, I had decided that I never wanted to be pregnant or have my own biological children. I didn’t particularly like kids under the age of about 10 or 12, and I figured that it was more socially responsible to foster or adopt anyway.

After I moved to the city for college (and was exposed to a wider range of people and ideas), I realized that I could choose to simply not have children at all. I could focus on a career. I could travel the world. Finally, my future seemed exciting — and most importantly, right.

I did a lot of research on sterilization and I heard the horror stories of not being taken seriously. I lost hope that a doctor would trust my ability to make my own reproductive decisions before I was in my late 30s. So, when I became sexually active at 22, I simply went to Planned Parenthood and started oral contraception.

My experience on hormonal birth control went from scary (depression, anxiety, & suicidal thoughts), to manageable (breast/nipple discomfort & possible decrease in libido), to potentially destroying my life & relationship. My depression was back, my sexual desire & arousal was non-existent, my ability to lubricate naturally had stopped, some of my favorite artificial lubricants suddenly started to burn, and insertion/orgasm ranged from uncomfortable to downright painful.

I was desperate to find a solution to my problems — and getting my body off of hormones seemed like the perfect place to start. A friend recommended me to a gynecologist who believes in reproductive autonomy (Dr. Kasper in Indianapolis), I mentioned permanent sterilization at my annual exam, and we scheduled surgery. Simple as that.

Happy Little Uterus

The rest of this post will be a chronicle of my surgery experience, primarily for those who want to know what to expect when going in for a tubal ligation.

The Night Before

The night before surgery, I did all of my prep work. I avoided food & drink after midnight. I showered with Hibiclens, removed my dark nail polish, and took out all of my piercings. I tried to do my “deep breathing” homework, but got distracted and figured that falling asleep to some ASMR videos would be just as helpful.

Surgery Day: Pre-Op

5:30 AM – We arrive 2 hours early to the hospital, as per my instructions. I check into the registration desk to receive my hospital bracelet and sign my consent form. Then I take my paperwork down to the basement where I give permission for the doctor to notify Andrew (my partner) when surgery is over. We sit down in the waiting room and wait.

6:00 AM – We get brought back to my pre-op room. I get asked a lot of questions about my medical history, current medications, and allergies — which I will repeat several times to multiple nurses, residents, and fellows throughout the morning. I pee in a cup so that they can do a last-minute pregnancy test. I wipe my entire body down with wet wipes that the nurse provided for me and then put on my hospital gown and grippy socks. I had started my period the day before, so I also receive the most ridiculous & uncomfortable pair of mesh underwear that absolutely will NOT cooperate with a maxi-pad with wings.

My nurse comes back to put my IV in, for which I promptly request that all needles stay far, far away from my hands. She inserts it into my forearm instead, near the radius bone — which might not have been much easier. From then on, it’s a waiting game.

7:00 AM – Shortly before my doctor arrives, I get informed that she has started to do bilateral salpingectomies in place of tubal ligations. (Recent research is showing that it may help to prevent ovarian cancer in the future. And removing the fallopian tubes altogether obviously reduces the risk of ectopic pregnancies.) Thankfully, I was prepared for this question.

A friend of mine went in for a tubal with the same doctor just a few weeks before and agreed to the salpingectomy. I had spent the last couple of weeks trying to get information from the nurses (who insisted that a last-minute change would never happen) and compare coverage through my insurance company. My friend & I are still waiting for our respective bills, but from what insurance told me, the salpingectomy would not be considered preventative care according to the Affordable Care Act — and would therefore not be covered 100%.

I explain this whole confusing & somewhat disappointing ordeal, my doctor agrees to the original plan (a laparoscopic tubal ligation with cauterization), and I am wheeled off to the operating room.

7:30 AM – I think that the nurses were a little surprised that this was my first time having surgery, because of how calm I seemed. My bravery only softened a little once I was actually inside the operating room; suddenly, I started shivering. To be fair, they had told me that it would be very cold and would soon be covering me in blankets. But it didn’t seem that cold.

The room is full of medical staff, all working swiftly on their individual tasks. They push my bed as close to the operating table as possible and help me shimmy over. They put special wraps on my legs to maintain blood flow. And then they inform me that they have started my anesthetic. It only takes a few moments and I am out.

Surgery Day: Post-Op

9:30 AM – I start to wake up gradually in what I assume is the Post-Anesthesia Care Unit. I don’t remember much aside from overhearing two nurses: One asks what procedure I had done, the other responds “She had her tubes tied. Yay!” I smile.

10:00 AM – I am somewhat awake and they wheel me back to my private recovery room. My nurse from before is there and asks about my pain; I tell her I’m probably only at a 4. She then asks if I want my “husband” to be called back. I giggle on the inside, but am still too sleepy to correct her, so I simply say yes. Once he’s there, she gives me some Sprite & crackers and he helps me eat & drink. (I don’t remember much of what we talked about during this time, but I know he was cracking jokes because I gave him the bird when my nurse wasn’t looking.)

I can’t leave the hospital until I pee, so I ask for another Sprite and wait. Eventually, I think I can go and my nurse helps me out of bed and down the hallway. I’m surprisingly unsteady on my feet and very slow. My nurse confides in me that her & her husband also decided not to have children and I instantly develop all the warm fuzzies for her. She asks if I think I’ll need help in the bathroom, but I insist that I can manage. I pee, she helps me back to the room, and then it’s Andrew’s job to help me get dressed in my pajamas again.

Thankfully, my friend had suggested that I bring my own baby wipes with me, so we’re able to get most of the orange surgical stains off my skin. I have 3 incisions: one on either side and another inside of my belly button.

11:00 AM – My nurse sits down with both of us to go over my discharge & recovery instructions. Andrew signs the paperwork, since I am still a little loopy. Another nurse arrives with a wheelchair to transport me back up to the hospital pharmacy for my anti-nausea & pain medications.

My prescriptions aren’t quite ready yet, so Andrew & I decide to relinquish the wheelchair and wait by ourselves. When they’re ready, he insists that he will take care of it so that I don’t have to move around more than absolutely necessary. He then helps me shuffle my way back to the front doors of the hospital and finds me a place to sit while he gets the car. After a long morning, we’re finally on our way home.

For details on my recovery, the amazing effects of going off hormonal birth control, and potential insurance battles… please stay tuned!

Womanizer: Tattoo Edition

The “EROcentric is Back!” Womanizer Giveaway

Hello dear, patient readers!

I have fantastic news: Both my depression & sexual health problems have been improving and I think that I am officially ready to resume blogging!

I’ve got a lot of reviews coming up in the next few months — including some toys that my vagina absolutely adores. (And at least one that I want to throw out of a moving car.) I’m also currently working on chronicling my tubal ligation and the amazing changes that I have noticed since going off hormonal birth control.

In the meantime, I want to celebrate my return AND the impending joy of reaching 1,000 Twitter followers.  And what better way to do that than by giving away a free sex toy?!

Womanizer: Tattoo Edition

One lucky winner will receive the truly innovative Womanizer W100: Tattoo Edition.

Believe me when I say that the Womanizer’s “air magic” totally makes me forgive them for the horrible name & tacky design. It provides a unique masturbatory experience that I continually reach for when I’m bored with traditional clit vibes. And as a sex toy reviewer, I greatly appreciate the variety! (To read my full review of the Womanizer W100, please click here.)

Disclaimer: This item is Open-Box but NOT used!

This Womanizer W100: Tattoo Edition is still in its original box, but is not shrink-wrapped. (The box also has some minor shipping damage on the edges because it was sent to me in a thin FedEx bag instead of a box or bubble mailer.) Womanizer mistakenly sent me the W100 (which I already own) instead of the newer W500 model, and I did not notice until after I had already opened the box. The toy & extra nozzle have never been removed from their individual baggies. It has NOT been used.

Giveaway Rules

By entering this giveaway, you accept the condition of the item as stated above. You must be 18 years or older to participate. The giveaway is open to the US only, as I will be personally responsible for shipping costs. The giveaway will end when my Twitter account reaches 1,000 followers. At that time, I will select one winner and contact them via e-mail to ask for their shipping information. If I do not receive a response within 3 days, a new winner will be chosen. 

Special thanks to Womanizer for allowing me to give away this duplicate item. And good luck to all participants!

Womanizer W100: Tattoo Edition


Jopen Key Aries Review

Jopen Key Aries - boxThe first time that I saw the Jopen Key Aries was at a blowjob workshop that my partner & I attended while touring the sex shops of NYC. It sparked my interest. An unobtrusive, silicone finger vibe certainly has the potential to make oral sex more exciting. However, it was also easily forgettable. I returned home without a single fleeting thought of this little toy… until Bondage Bunnies contacted me about writing a review.

It’s important for me to be honest & admit that I was hesitant. At the time, their selection of body-safe products was severely limited. In fact, Jopen was one of the only trusted brands available through their site. (Their selection has since grown to include a few fabulous brands such as Doxy & Tantus.) Normally, the lack of body-safe toys warrants an instant “nope” from me. But my personal curiosity about the Aries overpowered my mixed feelings on this one.

Let me be clear: My issues with Bondage Bunnies are not personal. They have been both polite & patient while my health problems have delayed this review. However, as a sex educator who is dedicated to body-safe materials, I have a bit of an ethical dilemma about working with companies that offer toxic toys to their customers.

Jopen Key AriesShould we refuse to support these companies until they take our sexual health seriously? Or should we speak with our money, paying for the products that we want to see more of? 

Everyone has different ideas about what it means to be a responsible consumer, and I can’t make that decision for you. What I can do, as a blogger, is speak up. I can tell my readers to be careful.

There are a lot of products described on Bondage Bunnies’ website as “silicone” which I would bet my vagina are actually jelly. There are toys in their “anal beads” section that contain string (a bacterial nightmare). Some are actually mislabeled kegel balls that can get stuck inside of the body if they are mistakingly used in the butt. And of course, there are anal plugs with insufficient bases or retrieval cords that I would not trust for a second.

Jopen Key Aries - batteryIf you know that you’re buying a product created by a trusted & ethical manufacturer, and you find a great deal at Bondage Bunnies…that’s fantastic! But if you’re not sure, please do outside research. Read reviews from sex bloggers. See what people are saying about the product & the company who makes it. Take a moment to see if other (trusted) retailers stock it. You deserve sex toys that will not cause you harm. 

With that being said, I can finally begin my review for the Jopen Key Aries!

description text

The Aries is your typical finger-style vibrator: a toy that is worn on the hand to provide effortless stimulation during sex play, usually with a partner. It’s small (slightly less than 2.5″ long, 1.75″ tall, and 1″ thick), waterproof, and uses one AAA battery. Jopen offers it in 3 different colors (pink, purple, or turquoise) — but Bondage Bunnies only stocks pink.

Jopen Key Aries - full packageThe Jopen Key Aries is bean-shaped with a “fin” on one side. It can be held between the fingers so that it rests on the inside or the outside of the hand. It is made of two components: a hard ABS plastic vibrator with a twist-open cap and a thin silicone sleeve. The sleeve is removable, which can make cleaning easier… but it’s also extremely snug and difficult to reassemble. The silicone itself has a matte finish and is ribbed for extra sensation.

This vibrator is your basic one-button model. A quick press of the silver “Key” button turns the toy on. Repeated presses allow you to cycle endlessly through the 5 different settings of steady vibrations, pulses, and waves. Pressing & holding the button for about 2 seconds turns the toy off. When turned back on, it will start from the beginning; it will not remember the last setting.

The small cardboard packaging is tastefully designed with images of the toy and basic product information. Inside the box, you’ll find a short instructional sheet (with information on the one-year warranty) and a travel/storage pouch.

experience text

I wanted to like the Jopen Key Aries. …I really did.

Jopen Key AriesJopen generally impresses me. The Key Comet II is one of the best things that has ever touched my G-spot & the Lust L1 is one of the most underrated & unique external vibes I own. With my recent issues surrounding vaginal pain, I had hoped that this little vibe would be a good first step to bringing sexy back.

If only it had power!

At first, I thought that perhaps the problem was my general lack of libido & arousal. (After all, crippling depression + the impending threat of painful orgasms does NOT make for enthusiastic masturbation.) But then I managed to dig through my vibrators, sifting through the ones that have languished and lost their charge over the last several months, and — SURPRISE! Even the PicoBong Kiki 2 (for which I described masturbating as “an absurd test of endurance”) at least makes my clitoris stand up and demand more.

With the Jopen Key Aries, my clit couldn’t care less what happens next. On a good day, the vibrations feel like I am lightly brushing my fingertips over my genitalia after a good, clean shave. There’s sensitivity, but not pleasure. When I apply the toy directly to my clit, the buzzy vibrations feel good for about 30 seconds before I am completely numb. And if there’s any thrusting going on (with my partner or a sex toy), you might as well be holding a potato to my crotch.

Jopen Key Aries - in hand

My penis-having partner, on the other hand, quite likes this toy. He is much more sensitive to vibrations than I am. (He can even feel them traveling through my fingertips!) And while the Aries still isn’t powerful enough to bring him to orgasm by itself, it certainly increases his pleasure. We’ve found that it makes for a great addition to blowjobs and handjobs, particularly when held against the frenulum, testicles, or perineum. It may not be versatile enough for both of us, but I am happy that it works for him.

bottom line text

Jopen Key Aries - in boxMaybe I wasn’t being very realistic, but I wanted more out of the $20 Jopen Key Aries. Sure, it’s small and convenient. It doesn’t get in the way during sex. And it only kind of makes my hand go numb from its buzzy vibrations. But there is literally no possible way for me to orgasm with this thing. I had expected a motor that was reminiscent of Jopen’s other toys. And although they do make a rechargeable finger vibe (the Key Pyxis), I can’t say if it’s any better.

With so many high quality external vibes on the market, I feel confident in telling you to look elsewhere. Invest a little bit more money into the delightfully rumbly We-Vibe Tango or Touch. They may be slightly larger, but I actually think that makes them even more comfortable to hold. And they certainly have a better range of vibrations!


Pros: body-safe silicone & ABS plastic, small & convenient design for partnered sex play, waterproof, affordable

Cons: very weak & buzzy vibrations, not rechargeable (takes one AAA battery), may be difficult or uncomfortable to hold for some individuals, vibrations may make fingers numb and/or tingly

Special thanks to Bondage Bunnies for sending me this product free in exchange for my honest & unbiased review. 


If you would like to purchase the Jopen Key Aries, you can do so here

A Sex Blogger Who is Afraid of Sex?

I’ve been silent lately. Most days, my energy is zapped simply by existing; making it through another day at a job that I am growing to despise, escaping into a pile of fiction, and convincing myself that “lurking on social media” is synonymous with “being social.” The blog has gone stagnant in the nearly 2 months since my last review — and it all somehow seems outside of my control. My backlog of sex toys is long and unmoving and it causes me so much anxiety that I often feel like there is a tiny mouse inside of my heart, clawing & chewing on very vital things.

At this point, my relationship with sex is a wreck. There are so many layers that I don’t even know what’s at the root of my issues anymore.

Is my birth control causing my low libido? Is the depression making it worse? (Or is the birth control suddenly making the depression worse again?) Maybe the weight I’ve gained in the last year has destroyed my body image and made me feel unsexy? (Is the depression making me gain weight too?) Am I simply putting too much pressure on myself and creating a negative feedback loop? …Or (and this is most terrifying of all) is this simply the way that I am now?

Everything is too tangled up to make sense.

As you all know, I’ve been dealing with “low libido” for years. It started as a lack of spontaneous desire. Then (as I began to realize the last time I wrote about struggling through painful sex) it became increasingly difficult to experience responsive desire and arousal — mentally or physically. More and more often, I was masturbating simply to release physical stress; using my Hitachi for a quick 2 minutes while I continued to watch Netflix. My orgasms became something that was happening to my body; a physiological equation that my mind never needed to enter into.

With my partner, I began initiating quickies & rushing through sex as much as possible. It required less energy and it was easier that way; if I didn’t give my body or mind the time to get aroused, then I couldn’t be disappointed when it didn’t happen. And of course, it was precisely when we did attempt to slow down and focus on “foreplay” that I finally fell apart. After an hour of kissing and touching, it became obvious to both of us that the only emotion I felt was an increasing panic that I didn’t feel anything sexual at all.

I cried myself to sleep that night and I’m crying again as I write this. It’s probably been over 2 months since my partner and I have had intercourse; the longest we’ve gone since we became sexually active. I so desperately want to want sex again… but I just don’t. To be honest, I’m actually terrified of being sexual with him — of being sexual at all — because I worry that I’m not strong enough to battle my own (perceived) shortcomings and self-hatred. I can’t even study sex in an academic way anymore without feeling like a failure. I listen to other people talk about craving or enjoying sex and I get incredibly sad & jealous. That used to be me. I used to have those emotions. Now I just feel broken.

And the worst part is, I absolutely know that the longer I drag this out, the harder it becomes to bounce back. I constantly feel like I’m letting everyone down: myself, my partner, the companies that I have partnered with on this blog, my readers. The last couple of times that I have tried to masturbate for reviews, my negative emotions have spilled out in the form of physical pain during insertion or orgasm. Not exactly a glowing endorsement for a product that should induce pleasure.

I guess what I’m saying is… I’m still here; I’m just in the background right now, trying to gather up the strength to battle this out. I am not planning on giving up the blog or the wonderful sex-positive community that I have become a part of, but I also don’t know how to be a sex blogger while I am actively dreading sex. At this point, all I know is that I need to find a way to take the stress & pressure out of the situation. I’m just too exhausted & confused to know how to begin.