My 5 Biggest Sex Toy Mistakes

I talk a lot about the importance of body-safety and general sex toy education here at EROcentric. I only review products made from high-quality materials, I only advertise for & become affiliates with manufacturers/retailers who I trust, and I try my hardest to educate my readers before they purchase a toy that may cause them harm — or at the very least, be completely wrong for their bodies.

Why? Because I’ve personally experienced negative effects from toxic, porous, latex-laden, cheap ass sex toys. And I’ve also spent a small fortune on certain luxury items, assuming that “expensive” must be synonymous with “mind-blowing”… only to be left with a useless paperweight.  


luvtouchcircleThis was my very first vibrator, before I knew anything about Pipedream and their disgustingly sexist & racist business practices. I chose it because it was small and under $20. To be fair, it held up pretty well. I had it for over a year before the thin, transparent coating (polyurethane?) began to flake & peel off the exterior of the vibe. At this point, I immediately should have thrown it away. Unfortunately, I had no idea that sex toys could be porous and that this flimsy layer was all that had been protecting me from bacteria growth.

Eventually, a black spot formed under the bright pink surface. At first, I thought that the toy was over-heating and burning through the plastic from the inside out. Then I found blogs like Lilly‘s and learned that the black spot was more likely mold. Cue revulsion.

Moral of the Story: Educate yourself about sex toy materials. Do not rely on sex toy manufacturers being honest & trustworthy with their advertising or packaging. Learn how to differentiate between materials and know what the “warning signs” are for toxic and porous toys.


sheathcircleMy partner & I had been curious about experimenting with size, but we couldn’t find many silicone penis extenders — and to be honest, we weren’t sure that we wanted to spend a fortune on a product that could be completely wrong for us. We settled for this TPE sheath because although it would be porous, I figured that it should at least be phthalate-free.

We only used this toy once — because it was a complete disaster. Within the first few minutes, the strap that is supposed to wrap around the testicles (holding the extension in place) snapped in half. It was only downhill from there. While attempting to have PIV intercourse, I noticed a horrible burning sensation in my vagina. I shrugged it off for a while, telling myself that it was simply from being stretched. But those two sensations are different.

Finally it clicked: I had felt that same burning before, back when my partner & I used latex condoms. Although I have no proof that this toy contained latex (in theory, most TPE should not), I also have no other explanation for the pain…unless I was experiencing mild chemical burn from some other additive.

Moral of the Story: Be proactive for your own health and listen to your body. If you have allergies, find out what ingredients are in your sex toys & lubricants and aim for only hypoallergenic materials. If you notice a negative reaction, talk to your doctor, seek out similar experiences online, try to narrow down the issue so that it can be avoided in the future. Remember: YOU are not the problem.



I understand that silicone is expensive and more time-consuming for manufacturers to use. And I understand that companies who traditionally sell very cheap sex toys worry that their customers will not spend big bucks on higher quality (especially when they continue to misinform & mislead those customers). I could almost give them a pass on cutting corners with the interior of their silicone toys. After all, it should never come into contact with the body.

But when something is advertised as “pure silicone” or “100% silicone”… I expect it to be silicone all the way down to the core; not full of foam, curious plastic chunks, or (most disturbing of all) rags.

A photo posted by Mandi (@erocentric) on

There’s also one other problem with this particular anal toy: the base is ridiculously small & extremely flexible. I consider myself very lucky that I never had to go to the emergency room to get this probe removed from my body. Knowing what I know now, I do not consider this toy safe for anal play and it upsets me that it was even created.

Moral of the Story: Again, don’t always trust what companies tell you on their advertising or packaging. Do research into a company’s reputation online — especially with sex bloggers. And for the love of butts everywhere, if a toy doesn’t have a large, sturdy base…don’t risk it.


evolvedcircle-2Generally, I think that Evolved creates some decent cheap silicone products. However, my experience is an important lesson in warranties, replacements, and consumer options when products malfunction.

Immediately after purchasing this bullet vibe from my local Cirilla’s, I inserted the small watch batteries that were included and turned it on. It buzzed for a few seconds… but then shorted out completely. I never even got to use it.

At the time, I didn’t know what to do with my broken little sex toy. I knew that you couldn’t return these items to the store and honestly, I was too embarrassed to start contacting the company online to find out what my options were and how to get a replacement. (That’s right, folks. I was not always the brazen sexual creature that you see today.) In the end, I simply ate the $20 that I wasted on this toy and tossed it in the trash.

Moral of the Story: Find out what type of warranty manufacturers have for their products. In this case, Evolved does allow you to send back faulty or defective items — with or without a receipt & original packaging. Don’t let sexual shame get in the way of your right to pleasure! The people in this industry talk about sex toys and sexuality every day. You will not seem weird, perverted, or hypersexual simply because you purchased a sex toy and you want it to work.


lilycircleObviously, this is the odd man out — but I wanted to prove that just because a toy is body-safe and “luxurious,” that doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily good or that it will do anything for your particular body or sexual anatomy.

The Lily was my first serious, body-safe sex toy purchase. I spent months drooling over its form, learning about Lelo and their high-quality products. I based my purchase largely off of one glowing review, without knowing what else worked for that person or if my body was similar. I tracked (what I thought was) the best deal and ended up spending approximately $90. When my beautiful Lily arrived, my clitoris was entirely unamused. The vibrations were so weak that I wondered if it was defective. (You can read my full review here, but know that the more toys I get introduced to the more I regret this particular purchase.)

The letdown was huge and it definitely deterred me from purchasing other expensive, body-safe sex toys for a long time. I felt like there must be something wrong with my body for needing so much more power. In fact, one of the next toys I purchased was the Hitachi because I kept reading that it was the most powerful toy out there — and I was convinced that was what I needed. (Turns out: Yes, the Hitachi Magic Wand is absolutely wonderful, but I can also orgasm from less powerful vibrations.)

Moral of the Story: Even if you’re purchasing a toy that is body-safe & produced by a trustworthy manufacturer, it helps to know your body. Of course, this is more difficult if you’re just beginning to experiment with sex toys; even us “experts” mistakingly assume that a toy will produce fireworks only to find that it barely even sparkles. Still, it helps to read as many reviews as you can find. Try to discover a toy reviewer who shares a similar body type or sexual response as you. Are you easy to orgasm? Is your clitoris buried by your labia? Will your anatomy even work with that rabbit vibrator? More often than not, one size does not fit all.

One of the biggest sex toy shopping seasons is upon us! Check out my Introduction to Sex Toy Safety5 Tips for Getting Quality Sex Toys for Lessmy Toybox (for a list of reviews), and the current Sales & Deals of my wonderful affiliates. Enjoy your purchases; Don’t make the same silly mistakes that I did. 

HedoVibes #95

TheSpottyAnalMassagerPhoto courtesy of Modesty Ablaze

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.











L’amourose Paramour Review

Paramour AccessoriesThe Paramour is a 3-in-1 sex toy set for (primarily heterosexual) couples, created by the luxurious L’amourose: a relatively new company that has been taking the sex blogging community by storm. It consists of a one-button vibrating bullet made from hard (ABS) plastic & three silicone attachments. (Purchased separately, these would be known as Lana, Mae, & Clark.) It also comes with a remote control that doubles as a magnetic charging base — a convenience that I absolutely adore.

The Paramour arrives in multiple layers of packaging that is reminiscent of Lelo. First, there is a thin cardboard slipcase featuring elegant & artistic photo representations of the toys. Inside of that, the toys are nestled into a much more sturdy & plain black box that would be appropriate for long-term storage. Additionally, there is a separate thin box that contains the charging cord, tiny travel adapter (so that you don’t have to bring the larger remote control/base), warranty card, 140-page instruction manual, lubricant sample, and fancy velvet storage pouch.


Paramour LanaAs a sex blogger who has never tried an actual We-Vibe (but very much wants to), the first thing that my partner and I did was use the Lana in the same hands-free fashion: I inserted the thin silicone piece into my vagina, with the bullet resting near my clitoris, and we had PIV sex. I was genuinely surprised by how well the toy stayed in place, even with my partner’s vigorous thrusting. However, the bullet just wasn’t “doing it” for me. The hard plastic was very uncomfortable when it would get pressed against my body and the placement wasn’t ideal for my genital anatomy. I can’t help but think that if the bullet was vertical instead of horizontal, it may be able to reach the clitorises of more individuals and potentially be nestled more comfortably between fleshy labia.

I also tried the Lana with the thin silicone portion inserted anally and the bullet vibrating against the bottom of my vaginal opening & perineum. This was moderately more enjoyable — until the vibrations became too numbing and annoying for my butt to handle.


Paramour MaeWhen my Paramour set first arrived, my partner and I were extremely excited about the Mae. We’ve always fantasized about him secretly teasing me in public and a remote-controlled vibrating egg seemed like the perfect way for us to act on this fantasy. Unfortunately, we were wrong.

Reading the instruction manual, I quickly discovered a major problem: You have to turn on the vibrating bullet separate from the remote control. Obviously, this makes using it in public much more complicated. Either you have to turn it on & insert the egg at home (wasting precious battery life) or excuse yourself to a public restroom in order to get “set up.” And if you enjoy anxiously anticipating when your partner may blast you with a wave of pleasure…too bad.

According to L’amourose, the remote control has a range of 15 meters (almost 50 feet). The ~ button cycles through the 5 vibration patterns &  the large touch pad controls vibration intensity (which is acceptable, but nothing spectacular for a Power Queen like myself). You can even use Memory Mode to record your own 10-second pattern.

Paramour RemoteAll of this would be great — if it worked. Unfortunately, I find the buttons surprisingly difficult to press & the touch pad not immediately responsive. Worst of all, the toy seems to have a lot of trouble maintaining a connection through my body. I am left pressing the ~ button over & over again, waiting for some internal vibrational change to occur…but it rarely does. It occasionally works if I’m holding the remote right up against my vulva, but more often than not, I have to remove the bullet in order to reconnect with the remote control.

Note: Despite what the instruction manual says, I recommend that the Mae should be a vaginal toy only. Without a flared base, it is NOT anal safe! 


Paramour ClarkAlthough this is a fairly basic cock ring, it was probably our favorite of the three attachments. The silicone stretched over my partner without any trouble, it was comfortable for him to wear, and I received much more pleasure out of it during partnered sex than I did with the Lana. With the bullet resting on top of my partner’s penis, not only was it coming into regular contact with my clitoris, but the vibrations also traveled very well through his shaft — essentially turning him into a human vibrator. (The ring can also be worn with the bullet resting at the bottom of the penis, vibrating against the testicles.)

Charging, Quality Concerns, Etc.

According to the L’amourose website, the Paramour bullet is supposed to last 1.5 hours on a 1-hour charge and have a 100-day standby time. This has not been my experience. First of all, it’s difficult to tell how long it actually takes my Paramour to reach full charge. Although the instruction manual states that the blinking light will remain illuminated once charging is complete, mine will at times go 12+ hours blinking away like nothing is happening — or it may blink for only an hour like it’s supposed to. I never quite know what to expect.

Paramour Charging

Secondly, I’ve found that the bullet stops vibrating somewhere between 30-60 minutes if run continuously. And although I don’t know exactly how quickly it’s losing the charge while in storage, I do know that it’s much less than 100 days. In the 93 days that I’ve owned this toy, it has already destroyed my plans on 2 separate occasions by refusing to turn on.

Paramour ChargerAdditionally, I was disappointed by the cheapness of the charger itself. Catering to multiple countries with different electrical outlets, L’amourose provides a charger that features interchangeable prongs. When I was curious about how these were removed and replaced, I gently pressed on the neat little button that conveniently said Push. At that point, the plastic button broke inside of the toy, remaining permanently pressed. Not a huge deal as it doesn’t affect charging, but it’s certainly annoying for such an expensive product.

Considering that I’ve also had major issues with my Rosa Rouge randomly shutting off and refusing to turn back on (for which I’m still waiting on a replacement), I’m very suspicious about the craftsmanship of these toys — and perhaps the response time of customer service. Although it’s always possible that I could just be extremely unlucky.

Bottom Line

Paramour Box SetAlthough I really like the idea of interchangeable, multi-purpose toys, I simply cannot recommend the L’amourose Paramour at this time.

I have high standards and (like most individuals) I live on a budget. Any sex toy that costs $239 (or $199/each with remote; $129/each without remote) has to live up to its promises. At the very least, I expect it to work as described — but ideally, it needs to offer something more than other toys on the market. A fussy remote control, a handful of charging issues, and a bullet with only mediocre vibration strength is simply not acceptable.

Also, even though the toy comes with a warranty, I do not feel confident that you’ll be able to negotiate a refund/replacement with the manufacturer in a timely manner. Although I haven’t heard of any other bloggers receiving defective products, it has proven to be a very long & frustrating process for an introvert like myself and something that I think my readers should be aware of.


Pros: body-safe & nonporous, 3-in-1 toy, rechargeable, remote doubles as charging base, storage box & pouch included, elegant design, warranty

Cons: very expensive, remote buttons are hard to press, remote doesn’t appear to work well through skin, must turn on the bullet & remote separately, charging time is unpredictable, battery life appears shorter than advertised, charger itself feels cheap/easily broken, a lot of grooves to clean, questionable craftsmanship & customer service response

I would like to thank L’amourose for providing me with this product in exchange for an honest & unbiased review.  

HedoVibes #94


Photo courtesy of Perineum Plunders

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.











Fun Factory Bootie Review



The Fun Factory Bootie is a tiny little butt plug, which is great for the novice anal explorers of the world. It measures in at only 3″ long with a 1″ diameter at its widest point, just slightly thicker than a finger’s width. Plus, it features a gentle curve that could prove pleasurable for individuals with a prostate.

The Bootie is made out of body-safe & nonporous silicone with a velvety matte finish. It’s 100% sterilizable, so it won’t harbor bacteria —which is very important for anal toys. It also has a 3″ long, thin base that makes it safe for anal use. While this should be a given for all anal toys, there are unfortunately still plenty of products on the market that run the risk of getting lost in the colons of unsuspecting individuals. Remember folks: If it doesn’t have a sturdy base, don’t stick it in your butt. You don’t want to end your night in the ER.

The Bootie is available in either black or purple and the packaging is plain & simple — though not exactly discreet. It arrives in a small, thin cardboard box featuring images of the toy. It also comes with a “user manual” which feels more like an advertisement from Fun Factory than anything else. However, for a toy so simple, there really isn’t a lot that you need to know.


bootiebox2Once upon a time, I could experiment with anal toys whenever I wanted and not get butt-shy. However, with a couple of mild hemorrhoid flare-ups that I’ve experienced recently, all of that has changed. I’ve had to back-off on the size of my toys. I’ve had to remind myself to slow down and pay closer attention to my body. Basically, I have to be much more careful about the entire process and accept that some days it’s altogether impossible. (If you are struggling with hemorrhoids, I strongly suggest reading A Porn Star’s Irreverent Guide to Hemorrhoids by Kitty Stryker. It’s amazing.)

To be honest, the Fun Factory Bootie is the only anal toy that I haven’t been intimidated by over the past few months. Its size is perfect: I feel a slight stretch around the bulb, but then it gets sucked right in without a problem and doesn’t budge. I don’t feel the visually obvious seam that runs around the toy or the Fun Factory emblem. And because the base is thin and fits snuggly between my ass cheeks, it’s super comfortable to wear for extended periods. In fact, I barely even notice it when I sit or walk around. The only time that the Bootie was not comfortable was when I tried pointing the curve towards my back rather than my stomach. (This will certainly not be the case for everyone. Fellow sex blogger, Penny, actually prefers to use the Bootie this way.)

bootiehandAlthough the size is perfect for beginners, the flexibility of this plug can make insertion a little tricky. The silicone is not soft enough to “squish” between your fingers, but the base and stem do bend very easily under pressure. I have to hold the Bootie very tightly and try to keep it relatively straight in order to insert it. (Obviously, this becomes more difficult when everything is covered in lube.) Because of the extreme flexibility and the fact that the tip is only slightly tapered, a close friend of mine was completely unable to use this toy — despite the fact that they can insert other, larger anal toys.

Using the Bootie during intercourse was an interesting experience… but probably not something that I will seek out again. It definitely made my partner feel larger and it made me feel tighter/more full. However, I kept feeling like the toy was going to get pulled out of me when my partner’s thrusts came into contact with the base. (When I started to remove the toy, I discovered that it had been turned inside of me.) Despite my fascination with the taboo of double penetration, I couldn’t truly relax and enjoy the experience.

bootielogo2Also, it’s important to remember that even though silicone is nonporous, it can retain smells. If you notice that your Fun Factory Bootie is getting a little funky & that bothers you, wiping it down with a 10% bleach solution, sanitizing it in the dishwasher (top rack, sans detergent) or boiling it for a few minutes should help.

Bottom Line

As a plug, the Fun Factory Bootie does exactly what it’s meant to do. It is a great choice for beginner’s anal play — or individuals like me who feel more comfortable with small insertables. It’s body-safe, very affordable (approximately $35), and not intimidating at all.


Pros: small size, comfortable shape, long/thin base, affordable, great for extended wear, body-safe & nonporous

Cons: flexibility can make insertion tricky, tip is only slightly tapered, may be too small for some individuals, may feel too “boring” if you enjoy more active anal stimulation (in which case, I suggest the Tantus Ripple)

If you’d like to purchase the Fun Factory Bootie, please consider buying from my affiliates: Good Vibrations, Sexy Time Toys, Peepshow Toys, or SheVibe