L’amourose Rosa Rouge Review

description text

L'amourose Rosa RougeThe L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a beautiful & modestly-sized G-spot vibrator known for its powerful rumbly vibrations. It has a gently curving shaft, a distinct edge on the bottom of its tapered head, and a relatively large oval base which serves as both a handle & a vibrating dual-stimulation option (if your anatomy lines up). But what makes this toy truly unique is that it heats up — on purpose! 

The Rosa Rouge has simple 3-button controls. The + and – buttons increase and decrease the vibration intensity along 12 different speeds, in addition to turning the toy on and off. These 2 buttons can also be used to lock the vibrator when pressed & held simultaneously. The middle button (a sort of yin-yang shape) controls both the heating function and the vibration patterns. With one prolonged press of the yin-yang symbol, the head of the Rosa Rouge will begin heating up to a level that is comfortably above body temperature (104-107 degrees Fahrenheit). If this button is pressed again, the toy will start cycling through its 9 vibration patterns: combinations of waves & pulses that often alternate between the two motors in the head & the base.

The toy measures 6″ in total length (approximately 4″ insertable) and 1.5″ in diameter at it’s widest point. Although the body of the toy is incredibly firm to the touch, the shaft does employ what L’amourose calls their “Flex & Shift” technology; simply meaning that the shaft will give a little in order to accommodate your body. It’s important to note that although this is often thought of as a vaginal vibrator, the base (1.75″ wide x 3″ long) makes it safe for anal play as well.

Like most high-quality toys, the Rosa Rouge is nonporous & body-safe, waterproof, and rechargeable. The majority of the toy is covered in a velvety smooth, matte silicone that doesn’t attract much dust/hair and creates very little drag. The bottom of the base and the charging dock are made from hard ABS plastic molded to look like a faceted gemstone. L’amourose reports that each 2-hour charge will give you up to 70 minutes of maximum speed/heated playtime, with an impressive 60-100 day standby when kept in storage. It is available in only one color: red (or rouge, obviously). However, if the heating ability doesn’t appeal to you, the regular Rosa is available in emerald (a beautiful teal color), cerise (hot pink), or black.

L’amourose prides themselves on being luxurious and the Rosa Rouge certainly arrives in style. Packaged within a ribbon-wrapped cardboard gift box, you’ll also receive a velvet storage/travel bag, magnetic charging dock & USB charging cord (complete with DC adaptor), water-based lube sample, user manual, and authenticity card (which will come in handy if you need to use the 18-month warranty or lifetime quality guarantee). Unwrapping this toy reminded me of buying my first Lelo product — except this time, I was actually impressed with the vibrations.

Unfortunately, that positive first impression didn’t last very long.


The Rosa Malfunction & Ensuing Communication Collapse


Rosa Rouge packaging

December 23rd 2014: I was contacted by L’amourose about reviewing some of their products. Although I eagerly responded the following day, I never received a confirmation or an update about shipping. After a couple of months, I simply assumed that they had changed their mind.

March 3rd 2015: I received an unexpected package from an unknown sender; L’amourose had graciously sent me not only the Rose Rouge, but the Paramour set as well!

After [im]patiently waiting for my new toys to charge, I started cycling through the different patterns… and the entire unit suddenly shut off. It wouldn’t turn back on. I poked at the buttons for a while, heartbroken & wondering what had happened. As a last resort, I put it back on the charging dock. The Rosa lit up again and I was able to power it on. But the toy suffered the same malfunction approximately half of the times that I tried to cycle through the patterns. I never knew when it would die on me and so it was essentially unusable.

Over the next couple of days, I corresponded with my contact at L’amourose to let them know about the faulty product and send them the specific serial number.

March 25th and April 24th: I sent follow-up e-mails. Silence.

April 29th: I decided to send an e-mail to Customer Care. My original contact was apparently no longer with the company (or at least in a “different role”), but I was promised a replacement product and put into contact with another employee.

June 15th: I was asked to confirm my address and was told I would be sent a shipping date.

October 10th and December 7th: More follow-up e-mails. More silence.

December 22nd 2015: A full year after my initial contact with the company, almost 10 months from receiving my defective Rosa Rouge, and more than 6 months since I had even heard from them… I received another mystery package containing the Rosa Rouge, the Prism VII, and a rather lovely hand-written note. Another gracious gift & a wonderful touch, that’s for sure — but to be honest, I had completely given up on them by this point.


Worth the wait?


Rosa Rouge doubleThe Rosa Rouge definitely has some hella powerful, rumbly AF vibrations. The only toy that I can even think to compare it to would be the We-Vibe Rave. When closely feeling for a difference, the Rave seems just a smidge more powerful to me. (Probably why I have a slightly easier time reaching clitoral orgasms with it.) But I would argue that the Rosa might actually have deeper and more thuddy/rumbly vibrations. Either way, both toys give me that ‘open-eyed, gasping in surprise’ reaction the moment they come into contact with my G-spot.

That’s another thing that I love about the Rosa Rouge; it is a master of finding & caressing my G-spot. The curve is perfect for my anatomy and the gentle ridge at the base of the head absolutely drives me wild as it drags across the front wall of my vagina. At first, I was concerned about the “Flex & Shift” technology. Pressure is usually what I need when aiming for a strong blended orgasm. (Hence my love for both the We-Vibe Rave & the Jopen Comet II.) But the Rosa Rouge surprised me.

The ever-so-slight give in the structure of this vibrator allows me to thrust it without pain or fear of getting the head hooked behind my pubic bone. Unlike most G-spot products, where the intense curve necessitates that I keep the toy stationary & squash my G-spot into submission, I can actually use the Rosa like a partner’s curved fingers.

And the patterns! Normally, vibration patterns do nothing for me; my vagina has a type and that type is ‘strong & consistent.’ But the Rosa’s vibrations are so powerful that when using a pulsing pattern, it gives me nearly the same sensation as if I were manually thrusting the toy. Instead of repeatedly moving the head towards & away from my G-spot, the vibrations simply start and stop. And with the pulse, I don’t risk losing rhythm when I’m about to orgasm. The Rosa Rouge just keeps humming along.

To be honest, there’s nothing about the Rosa Rouge that I absolutely hate; there’s just a few small aspects of the toy that do not work for me as an individual. And although I believe that these issues are easily overshadowed by the pure power of this crimson beast, they could easily create larger disappointments for others.

For example: The “dual stimulation” idea (with one motor in the base of the toy) doesn’t work for my body, because it simply cannot reach my clit. The base is also not the most comfortable handle; I can live with it, but I sometimes end my masturbation session with a case of  “the claw.” And the heating function? It’s okay for external vibrations (the only way I can really feel it), but I wouldn’t pay extra for this feature if I were buying the toy myself.

L'amourose Rosa RougeThe L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a high quality (and truly luxurious) sex toy with more oomph than most every other rechargeable vibrator on the market. However, this is one instance where you will most certainly pay for it. At $199-$249 ($159-$189 for the plain non-heating Rosa), this is officially one of the most expensive toys in my collection. It’s not exactly a price point that is within the average person’s budget… and that makes it hard for me to enthusiastically recommend this product to my readers. Especially when I believe that there are non-heating – but equally impressive – options that will save you a little cash!

I also can’t forget how long it took for L’amourose to get a replacement mailed out to me and how difficult that process was. I’d like to say that I have more faith in their ability to please paying customers, but on the other hand, bloggers have the unique power to tear down a company with bad publicity. I am simply not confident enough to promise that their warranty process would be easy were you to also receive a faulty toy.

If that risk is too big for you, or if you simply can’t justify/afford the cost of the Rosa Rouge, I do have other suggestions: The aforementioned We-Vibe Rave costs approximately $120 and the L’amourose Prism V sells for as low as $99. (I mention the Prism line because I will soon be reviewing the Prism VII and it also has some majorly swoon-worthy vibrations.)

And of course… If you’d simply like to feel better about purchasing any of these, remember that the Lelo Mona 2 has now increased in price to a ridiculous $170 and those vibrations are not even in the same universe.

Pros: nonporous & body-safe silicone with ABS plastic base, rechargeable, waterproof, heating function, curved specifically for G-spot stimulation, super powerful & rumbly vibrations, multiple intensities & patterns, easy controls, relatively quiet, very approachable size, anal safe

Cons: expensive, may be difficult/uncomfortable for some individuals to hold, relatively short battery life (70 minutes on high), L’amourose can be difficult to contact if there are problems


L'amourose

Special thanks to L’amourose for sending me this product (twice!) in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. If you would like to purchase this toy, please consider buying through one of my affiliates: SheVibe or Peepshow Toys

Jopen Key Aries Review

Jopen Key Aries - boxThe first time that I saw the Jopen Key Aries was at a blowjob workshop that my partner & I attended while touring the sex shops of NYC. It sparked my interest. An unobtrusive, silicone finger vibe certainly has the potential to make oral sex more exciting. However, it was also easily forgettable. I returned home without a single fleeting thought of this little toy… until Bondage Bunnies contacted me about writing a review.

It’s important for me to be honest & admit that I was hesitant. At the time, their selection of body-safe products was severely limited. In fact, Jopen was one of the only trusted brands available through their site. (Their selection has since grown to include a few fabulous brands such as Doxy & Tantus.) Normally, the lack of body-safe toys warrants an instant “nope” from me. But my personal curiosity about the Aries overpowered my mixed feelings on this one.

Let me be clear: My issues with Bondage Bunnies are not personal. They have been both polite & patient while my health problems have delayed this review. However, as a sex educator who is dedicated to body-safe materials, I have a bit of an ethical dilemma about working with companies that offer toxic toys to their customers.

Jopen Key AriesShould we refuse to support these companies until they take our sexual health seriously? Or should we speak with our money, paying for the products that we want to see more of? 

Everyone has different ideas about what it means to be a responsible consumer, and I can’t make that decision for you. What I can do, as a blogger, is speak up. I can tell my readers to be careful.

There are a lot of products described on Bondage Bunnies’ website as “silicone” which I would bet my vagina are actually jelly. There are toys in their “anal beads” section that contain string (a bacterial nightmare). Some are actually mislabeled kegel balls that can get stuck inside of the body if they are mistakingly used in the butt. And of course, there are anal plugs with insufficient bases or retrieval cords that I would not trust for a second.

Jopen Key Aries - batteryIf you know that you’re buying a product created by a trusted & ethical manufacturer, and you find a great deal at Bondage Bunnies…that’s fantastic! But if you’re not sure, please do outside research. Read reviews from sex bloggers. See what people are saying about the product & the company who makes it. Take a moment to see if other (trusted) retailers stock it. You deserve sex toys that will not cause you harm. 

With that being said, I can finally begin my review for the Jopen Key Aries!

description text

The Aries is your typical finger-style vibrator: a toy that is worn on the hand to provide effortless stimulation during sex play, usually with a partner. It’s small (slightly less than 2.5″ long, 1.75″ tall, and 1″ thick), waterproof, and uses one AAA battery. Jopen offers it in 3 different colors (pink, purple, or turquoise) — but Bondage Bunnies only stocks pink.

Jopen Key Aries - full packageThe Jopen Key Aries is bean-shaped with a “fin” on one side. It can be held between the fingers so that it rests on the inside or the outside of the hand. It is made of two components: a hard ABS plastic vibrator with a twist-open cap and a thin silicone sleeve. The sleeve is removable, which can make cleaning easier… but it’s also extremely snug and difficult to reassemble. The silicone itself has a matte finish and is ribbed for extra sensation.

This vibrator is your basic one-button model. A quick press of the silver “Key” button turns the toy on. Repeated presses allow you to cycle endlessly through the 5 different settings of steady vibrations, pulses, and waves. Pressing & holding the button for about 2 seconds turns the toy off. When turned back on, it will start from the beginning; it will not remember the last setting.

The small cardboard packaging is tastefully designed with images of the toy and basic product information. Inside the box, you’ll find a short instructional sheet (with information on the one-year warranty) and a travel/storage pouch.

experience text

I wanted to like the Jopen Key Aries. …I really did.

Jopen Key AriesJopen generally impresses me. The Key Comet II is one of the best things that has ever touched my G-spot & the Lust L1 is one of the most underrated & unique external vibes I own. With my recent issues surrounding vaginal pain, I had hoped that this little vibe would be a good first step to bringing sexy back.

If only it had power!

At first, I thought that perhaps the problem was my general lack of libido & arousal. (After all, crippling depression + the impending threat of painful orgasms does NOT make for enthusiastic masturbation.) But then I managed to dig through my vibrators, sifting through the ones that have languished and lost their charge over the last several months, and — SURPRISE! Even the PicoBong Kiki 2 (for which I described masturbating as “an absurd test of endurance”) at least makes my clitoris stand up and demand more.

With the Jopen Key Aries, my clit couldn’t care less what happens next. On a good day, the vibrations feel like I am lightly brushing my fingertips over my genitalia after a good, clean shave. There’s sensitivity, but not pleasure. When I apply the toy directly to my clit, the buzzy vibrations feel good for about 30 seconds before I am completely numb. And if there’s any thrusting going on (with my partner or a sex toy), you might as well be holding a potato to my crotch.

Jopen Key Aries - in hand

My penis-having partner, on the other hand, quite likes this toy. He is much more sensitive to vibrations than I am. (He can even feel them traveling through my fingertips!) And while the Aries still isn’t powerful enough to bring him to orgasm by itself, it certainly increases his pleasure. We’ve found that it makes for a great addition to blowjobs and handjobs, particularly when held against the frenulum, testicles, or perineum. It may not be versatile enough for both of us, but I am happy that it works for him.

bottom line text

Jopen Key Aries - in boxMaybe I wasn’t being very realistic, but I wanted more out of the $20 Jopen Key Aries. Sure, it’s small and convenient. It doesn’t get in the way during sex. And it only kind of makes my hand go numb from its buzzy vibrations. But there is literally no possible way for me to orgasm with this thing. I had expected a motor that was reminiscent of Jopen’s other toys. And although they do make a rechargeable finger vibe (the Key Pyxis), I can’t say if it’s any better.

With so many high quality external vibes on the market, I feel confident in telling you to look elsewhere. Invest a little bit more money into the delightfully rumbly We-Vibe Tango or Touch. They may be slightly larger, but I actually think that makes them even more comfortable to hold. And they certainly have a better range of vibrations!

2star

Pros: body-safe silicone & ABS plastic, small & convenient design for partnered sex play, waterproof, affordable

Cons: very weak & buzzy vibrations, not rechargeable (takes one AAA battery), may be difficult or uncomfortable to hold for some individuals, vibrations may make fingers numb and/or tingly


Special thanks to Bondage Bunnies for sending me this product free in exchange for my honest & unbiased review. 

screen-shot-2016-09-17-at-8-21-04-pm

If you would like to purchase the Jopen Key Aries, you can do so here

PicoBong Kiki 2 Review

PicoBong recently released a 2nd, new & improved line of 5 previous designs: the Kiki (mini external vibe), Ipo (finger vibe), Tano (butt plug vibe), Honi (bullet vibe w/ retrieval cord), and Mahana (U-shaped dual stimulation vibe). These revamped vibrators may look exactly the same as before, but they boast one major difference: twice the power!

description textPicoBong is the more affordable/less luxurious sister brand of Lelo. They value body-safety while cutting expenses in other areas: rechargeability, fancy packaging — and laughably pointless extravagance. They have separated themselves from Lelo’s golden dildos, bro-marketed cock rings, and satin penis suits. (Seriously. It’s like they’re getting sex toy ideas from The Onion over there.) Instead, PicoBong’s designs are neon-colored, frill-free, and almost always under $100. If Lelo products were made for rich business executive Barbie, PicoBong is definitely targeting her younger beach-partying sister, Skipper.

PicoBong Kiki - sizeWhen PicoBong contacted me about reviewing one of their new “Power Up” products, I was intrigued. Although I didn’t have any previous experience with their old line, the idea that they had doubled their power — from a single AAA battery — appealed to me. Powerful vibrations are my jam and if I could recommend a halfway decent $40 vibe, I’d be a happy blogger.

The Kiki 2 is a bullet-sized (4″ long, 1″ wide) vibrator with a diagonal flattened tip, created for external stimulation. It is made from hard ABS plastic and is almost completely covered in a thin layer of velvety soft matte silicone. The bottom of the toy (the only portion NOT covered in silicone) twists off to accommodate 1 AAA battery — which PicoBong claims will last 2 hours. It is available in 3 colors (hot pink, turquoise, and black) and is waterproof up to 1 meter. The noise level is advertised as “near silent,” but I’d still suggest a closed door & maybe some light music/TV to drown out the sound if you need to be discreet.

The Kiki 2 has extremely simple 2-button controls: the + button turns the toy on and increases vibration intensity, while the – button decreases intensity and eventually turns the toy off. (Both buttons are “hidden” within the large PicoBong logo embossed on one side.) Honestly, I have no idea how many vibration settings it has. Some online reports for the original Kiki say 18, but I certainly can’t distinguish between that many. I do know that once you have reached maximum intensity, you can then press & hold the + button to cycle through the 12 vibration patterns. Unfortunately, I don’t think that there is a way to decrease the intensity while using the patterns; the – button simply returns you to a constant steady vibration.

PicoBong Kiki - pkg

Included with the Kiki 2 is a small instruction manual & a 1-year warranty. It comes packaged within a very minimal cardboard box with a plastic front and a ridiculous fake history of the toy written on the back.

“Found inside a meteorite in Siberia in 1908, the original Kiki was long kept a state-secret due to the uncontrollable pleasure it would bring to anyone who approached it. It was eventually smuggled out and resurfaced in San Francisco 1967, accidentally beginning the sexual revolution and the Summer of Love.”

I couldn’t make this shit up.

experience textSometimes we have to remind ourselves that optimism should be cushioned with realistic expectations. This is especially important when you are a self-professed power queen with a tiny battery-powered vibrator in your hand. I didn’t expect the Kiki 2 to compare to a wand massager or my beloved We-Vibe Tango. I set the bar low. All I wanted was a relatively easy orgasm; a task that is normally quite simple for me, despite what you would assume from my love of all things strong & rumbly.

PicoBong Kiki - batteryI was impressed when I powered up the Kiki 2 for the first time. At the very least, it makes my Lelo Lily feel like the $100+ paperweight that it is. At best, I would compare it to the Jopen Key Comet II — or perhaps even a buzzier version of the We-Vibe Touch’s lowest setting.

But even though it seemed strong enough, the Kiki 2 did not give me easy orgasms. Before using this toy, I had believed that medium-to-high vibrations were all that my clitoris needed. Broad vs. pinpoint? Buzzy vs. rumbly? I had my preferences, but none of these things seemed to be a deal breaker — on their own. The Kiki 2, however, combines all of my least favorite forms of stimulation: buzzy vibrations, medium intensity, & pinpoint shape.

Actually reaching orgasm with the Kiki 2 requires immense concentration & absolutely perfect conditions. My masturbation session is no longer fun; it’s an absurd test of my endurance — with very strict rules.

  1. PicoBong Kiki 2I cannot use a different (stronger) vibe beforehand, or my clit is desensitized to the Kiki 2’s meager efforts.
  2. I have to spread my labia out of the way & raise my clitoral hood in order to expose as much of my clit as I possibly can.
  3. I have to avoid lube, because it removes the small amount of friction that actually makes the vibration somewhat pleasurable.
  4. I cannot pair the Kiki 2 with an insertable toy, because even the simple act of thrusting a dildo makes the vibrations seem to fade away into the distance.
  5. And most ridiculously of all… I can’t allow myself to get too interested in the porn that I am watching, because it takes the concentration away from my clitoris.

If I abide by these rules for an agonizingly long amount of time, I am eventually rewarded with a very weak & disappointing orgasm. Hooray.

bottom line textObviously, the PicoBong Kiki 2 does not work for my body. But even if I remove my own bias; even if I consider that it could potentially be great for someone who enjoys buzzy, surface-level, pinpoint vibrations… I still have difficulty suggesting it based on the price.

PicoBong Kiki 2It simply does not feel like a $40 toy to me. It may be body-safe, but everything else about it still reminds me of my first $20 vibrator from Spencer’s Gifts. And considering that you can buy some really amazing rechargeable toys for nearly the same price, simply by catching a good online sale… well, I really don’t see this as being a financially savvy decision. (Let’s not forget that the constant need for batteries will drive the price of the Kiki 2 up even more in the long run. Especially since PicoBong warns that using rechargeable AAAs will “result in decreased vibration intensity.”)

I’m all about catching good deals & getting the most bang for your buck — and that’s exactly why I cannot recommend the Kiki 2. There may not be anything inherently wrong with it (if you enjoy this type of vibration)… but unfortunately, there’s nothing outstanding about it either.

2star

Pros: nonporous & body-safe silicone, waterproof, multiple intensities & patterns, easy controls

Cons: battery-powered, buzzy vibrations, doesn’t seem worth the cost


Special thanks to PicoBong for sending me this item in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. 

PicoBong_Logo

Affiliate links have not been used in this post, because none of my affiliates currently stock the updated version of this product.

Womanizer W100 Review

The notorious Womanizer W100: a sex toy that erupted onto the scene like your eccentric old aunt, showing up to the family reunion in a faux-fur coat that more closely resembles a shag carpet, embellishing her sentences with fake-jeweled fingers flying dramatically through the air, and wanting to know when that damn valet is going to park her Geo Metro.

Luxury. Am I right?

description text

Womanizer W100The Womanizer is utterly cringeworthy in both name and design. It’s left sex toy reviewers befuddled as to how anyone could possibly think that such a hideous disaster is synonymous with “female pleasure.” (Although it helps if you first reduce all clitoris owners to their most narrow & cisnormative gender stereotypes.) It’s a toy that gave Dizzy flashbacks to the 80s: all animal prints & glittering rhinestones. Lilly aptly nicknamed hers “Blanche.” And Epiphora‘s review is to blame for the horrifying mental image I had of “sucking snot” from a clitoris. Sadly, they are all incredibly spot-on.

The Womanizer W100 looks like someone got the ridiculous idea to make a designer ear thermometer — and only asked for fashion tips from 12 year old girls. It’s available in varying colors of leopard print & crocodile skin, red roses, and edgy tattoo designs. (There’s even a $500+ limited edition Swarovski crystal version.) No matter what the style, one thing is consistent: it is always ugly.

Womanizer - buttonsMaybe I’m being a bit too harsh. In an industry where innovation is often advertised — but very difficult to actually come by — the Womanizer succeeds in being a one-of-a-kind sex toy. You place the nozzle (or “treatment head,” as they disgustingly call it) over your clitoris, pressing just enough to seal the edges against your skin, and passively wait for an orgasm to wash over you.

Its magic is often attributed to a subtle combination of suction & vibration, but I’m with Lilly in not being entirely convinced that suction is what’s actually going on here. It may feel like suction at first, especially when pressed against rounded parts of your body: the pad of your finger, tip of your nose, or yes — even your clitoris. But if you hover the nozzle over your lips (one of the most sensitive & discerning parts of your body), you’ll actually notice that the Womanizer seems to be blowing cool air rather than sucking it in.

Womanizer’s promotional video describes the technology as “pulsating pressure waves” and it’s exactly these pulses, like tiny quick bursts of air, that I think might be responsible for most of the vibrating sensation too. If you place your finger on one side of the nozzle, you won’t feel hardly any movement (even at maximum intensity). That sensation only comes from the inside — “vibrating” the edges after you’ve successfully prevented the air from escaping.

Bravo, Womanizer. This shit is genius.

Womanizer - packagingLike any respectable toy, the Womanizer is made from nonporous & body-safe materials: silicone & hard ABS plastic. However, unlike many “luxury” toys, it is not waterproof. (Thankfully, the silicone nozzle is removable for easy cleaning. You can simply wipe the body of the toy with a moist cloth.) At about 6″ long and 2″ wide, it is chunky — but still light as a feather. This may create the impression that it is cheaply made, but it also makes the toy extremely comfortable to hold.

The Womanizer has 6 different intensity levels to choose from. The obnoxiously huge gemstone button increases the intensity, but the toy does not decrease unless you press the power button. This immediately returns you to its lowest setting. (The controls are definitely a pain if you’re having a Goldilocks moment, trying to find a middle setting that is “just right.”) To turn the toy off, press & hold the power button for 2-3 seconds.

The Womanizer comes packaged in a thin cardboard box that is much more tastefully designed than the toy itself, though certainly not discreet. (Photos of the confusing-looking toy get paired with amusingly sexual tag lines such as “your private delight” and “100% lust & good feeling.”) Also included is a hard-shell storage/travel case, an extra silicone nozzle, a widely translated instruction manual, and a USB charging cord without an AC adapter. A full charge takes 4 hours and lasts for up to 90 minutes.

experience text

As you’ve probably guessed by now (or read in the reviews of other bloggers), using the Womanizer is a unique experience.

Womanizer - nozzleWhen I first apply the nozzle of the Womanizer over my clitoris and turn it on, I amp up the intensity to its maximum setting. Because nothing is coming into direct contact with my clit (except for air), this still feels gentle compared to my favorite vibrators. Waiting for the toy to do its magic, I try very hard to keep my hand steady — but I always fail.

Tiny spasms of pleasure, or simply the slow passage of time, will invariably cause me to lose the perfect placement. Sometimes the sensations simply get too overwhelming, bypassing pleasure and going straight to discomfort. (Similar, but not nearly as intense as Redhead Bedhead‘s negative experience with this toy; a fantastic reminder that all bodies are different.) Whatever the cause… I’m forced to start over, spreading my labia out of the way again and readjusting the nozzle, trying to ignore that horrible gurgling noise that reminds me of the sound a toy airplane would make if it were flying through pudding.

I repeat this process at least 5 more times.

Womanizer - glowAll the while, that damn nozzle is glowing red like a clit beacon that mocks my inability to stay still. For a brief moment, I get frustrated & question whether this is really worth the effort. It feels good, but my orgasm still seems small & far away — until suddenly it doesn’t. The Womanizer makes my orgasms sneak up on me, very similar to my experience of receiving oral sex. My body instantly goes from the sexual equivalent of a dying white dwarf to an exploding supernova of pleasure. And just as quickly as it arrived, it’s over; the “pulsating pressure waves” turn into torture devices for my oversensitive little clitoris. I panic & rip my hand away, focusing on only one goal: Make. It. Stop.

Womanizer advertises that their product avoids over-sensitivity and assists with multiple orgasms, but this has NOT been my experience. There’s simply no good way to go from maximum intensity to a slow & gentle comedown with this toy; no way to patiently ride the waves of an orgasm as they gradually disappear. Even hitting the power button (returning to that first level) is too large of a jump, ending my orgasm prematurely. I’ve tried to amp back up again, but it doesn’t work. My clit remains unamused & far too exhausted to keep going. 

Womanizer W100And yet — despite how much of a pain in the ass it is — I somehow find myself reaching for the Womanizer. I crave its gentle-yet-relentless onslaught of magical air pulses. The feathery soft vibration that perfectly stimulates the area surrounding the clitoris, never touching it directly but teasing it into a frenzy.

My orgasms with the Womanizer are short. They are not necessarily better or stronger than what I can achieve with a strong vibrator. But they are subtly different — and that is something that I, as a sex toy reviewer, really appreciate.

bottom line text

This is certainly one of the most confusing, on-the-fence reviews that I’ve ever had to write. When it comes to sex toys, I enjoy unique sensations. But that doesn’t help me to formulate advice on whether or not I think that this toy will work for you, dear readers. That’s part of the reason why I chose to link to so many other blogger reviews in this post — because I think that maybe one of us will describe the sensation in a way that works (or doesn’t work) for your body.

Womanizer W100It’s tough though. At $189, the Womanizer W100 is NOT cheap. And it’s certainly not easy for many of us —myself included— to drop that much money on a sex toy (especially one that receives such varied reviews).

So, I will simply say this: If you really enjoy pinpoint clitoral stimulation, find yourself getting bored with traditional vibrators, are willing to patiently fiddle with a toy that has a bit of a learning curve, and can ignore the horrible gaudiness of gemstones & animal prints… you might just enjoy the Womanizer.

Love it or hate it; if you try this toy, I would be absolutely thrilled to hear what you think. Leave a comment below, letting us know how YOU describe this one-of-a-kind sensation! 

4stars

Pros: innovative air technology, unique sensation, pinpoint clitoral stimulation, body-safe & nonporous, 6 intensity settings, removable nozzle tips for easy cleaning, rechargeable, comes with sturdy travel/storage case

Cons: horrible name & design, makes weird gurgling noise when not pressed against skin, no way to slowly back off if stimulation becomes overwhelming, not waterproof, nozzle glows red (can be distracting for some), expensive


Huge thanks to my affiliate, SheVibe, for providing me with this product in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. 

shevibe_468x60

If you would like to purchase the Womanizer W100, please consider supporting my blog by ordering through these links: black & leopard or red roses.  

Lovehoney Desire Wand Review

If there is one type of sex toy that I can almost guarantee that I will enjoy, it’s the wand vibrator. As a group, wands just seem to have so much more power. And no matter if the vibrations are buzzy or rumbly, my vulva really seems to enjoy lots of intensity across a broad area. By focusing the vibrations on my labia or on top of my mons, I am able to enjoy indirect clitoral stimulation & remove the possibility of becoming overly sensitive. Wands are basically my secret weapon for multiple orgasms.

description text

Lovehoney Desire WandThe Desire Wand is part of Lovehoney‘s line of luxury, USB rechargeable sex toys — aptly named the “Desire” collection. All Desire products are made from body-safe & nonporous silicone, are completely waterproof, and range in price from $70-$100. With the exception of the cock ring, these toys also include a hard-shell travel/storage case and are only available in one color (purple).

The wand vibrator boasts 12 vibration speeds and 8 patterns. Its controls are incredibly simple. The + and – buttons control the intensity, while the circular button in the middle cycles through the patterns. Pressing and holding the + or – buttons also acts as a power switch — which unfortunately means that there is no way to turn this toy off instantly. It can, however, be locked by pressing and holding both the + and – buttons simultaneously for about 5 seconds.

The Desire Wand measures nearly 8.5″ long with a head that is approximately 2″ across. This makes it much smaller than traditional electrical wands such as the Hitachi Magic Wand or the Doxy, but it’s also significantly lighter and easier to hold. The seamless silicone finish is matte and velvety soft to the touch. The handle features a smooth & shiny piece of black plastic inset on one side — although I’m not sure why.

Lovehoney Desire Wand packageOn the very bottom of the wand is the “self-healing” charging port (an area of silicone where you poke the charger through and it magically reseals itself once the plug is removed). Unlike the We-Vibe Rave, Lovehoney promises that their self-healing port will remain waterproof; I’m personally too scared to submerge my wand and find out. (It does makes for stress-free cleaning though.) The instruction manual says that a 120-minute charge will last for up to 60 minutes of use or up to 90 days when left untouched in storage.

The Desire Wand comes packaged in a large black & purple cardboard box, featuring a tasteful photo of the product and a basic description. Also included is a small instruction booklet, the USB charging cord (no AC adaptor), and the aforementioned black, hard-shell storage case. (The storage case even has a tiny lock-compatible zipper & a small hole in one corner for “discreet charging.” Maybe it’s just me, but I imagine that a cord disappearing into a locked box would simply create more curiosity.)

experience text

What can I say about Lovehoney’s Desire Wand? It’s a pretty simple toy that I enjoy using… but there’s nothing special about it to make me scream from the rooftop: “YOU MUST BUY THIS NAO!”

Lovehoney Desire Wand caseDoes it offer the strongest vibrations I’ve ever felt? No. But it’s still quite impressive for being rechargeable. In fact, my partner & I felt like the Desire Wand’s highest setting was very similar to the lowest setting of the Magic Wand Original. (It also seems more rumbly than the Magic Wand or the Doxy on their highest settings, yet buzzier than the Doxy’s lowest). It’s enough to bring me to orgasm without frustration, but I’m definitely going to need to work at it for more than a minute or two — which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Unlike many wand-style vibrators, the Desire Wand doesn’t harken back to the 1970s. It has the look & feel of a high quality, modern day sex toy with nothing cheap or tacky about the design or craftsmanship. It’s rechargeable, so you don’t have to worry about changing batteries or getting tangled up in cords while masturbating. It’s lighter and less tiring to hold than the larger electrical wands. And it doesn’t overheat in 20 minutes like the Original Magic Wand (or simply shut off like the Magic Wand Rechargeable).

My only complaint is the noise level. Normally, the vibrations are pretty quiet… but if you’re a “grinder” during masturbation, the extra pressure on the head makes the entire toy pretty rattley. It’s actually loud enough that I find myself getting distracted from whatever porn I’m watching — or, worst of all, from my own pleasure. It’s important to mention that the vibrations also travel through the handle, which could be an issue for some individuals as well.

bottom line text

The Desire Wand is convenient to use & does a great job of slowing me down just enough so that an orgasm isn’t ripped out of my body before I’m even aroused. It’s a toy that I’m sure I will reach for often (which is a testament in itself, considering how many toys I have amassed and how often they languish in the bottom of a drawer). But the bottom line as to whether or not I can suggest this toy really comes down to the price.

Lovehoney Desire WandLovehoney’s Desire Wand is a $100 vibrator; that’s about $40 more expensive than the Original Magic Wand and only about $20-30 cheaper than the Doxy or the Magic Wand Rechargeable — depending on where you buy them from. It’s also more expensive than plenty of other wand-style options available through Lovehoney‘s website (although I can’t speak for the vibration strength or quality of the others).

In my opinion, the Desire Wand would be good for someone who doesn’t want the most powerful bang for their buck; someone looking for a small(ish), rechargeable unit that boasts a “luxury” feel and doesn’t technically climb into the triple digits — by one little penny.

If it were me, there would be no contest: I would rather save the extra money and purchase a Magic Wand. …But you all already knew I would say that, didn’t you?

4stars

Pros: acceptable (but not overwhelming) vibration intensity, multiple settings & patterns, simple controls, rechargeable — with good battery life, waterproof, light & comfortable to hold, best storage/travel case of all my toys, body-safe & nonporous silicone

Cons: rattles when pressed against the body, vibrations easily travel through handle, seems expensive when compared with more powerful wand vibrators


Special thanks to my affiliate, Lovehoney, for sending me this product in exchange for an honest, unbiased review. 

Free delivery on all orders over $40

If you would like to purchase the Lovehoney Desire Wand, please consider supporting my blog by doing so here. And don’t forget that you can currently save 20% with code: OFFER2020