Womanizer W500 Pro Review

You may recall that I once wrote a very snarky review for the Womanizer W100 — perhaps the most kitschy and gender stereotyped sex toy to ever burst onto the “luxury” market. Well, here I am (over three years later!), returning with a much-overdue review of the original Womanizer’s more mature sibling: the (W500) Pro. Although this is an older model that may not be around much longer, it is currently available through Womanizer’s website for a discounted price of $149. 

But before you rush out and snag this deal… I know what you’re all wondering.

Did their design team of preteen girls grow the fuck up or is everything still plastered in leopard print? Does it still glow ragey red and make that gross gurgling noise that sounds like a toy airplane flying through pudding? And most importantly: Does it still make my orgasms sneak up on me, washing over my body and then suddenly drowning me in over-stimulation? 

Aesthetically, the Womanizer W500 Pro is an absolute godsend — compared to the original, at least. Sure, it still looks like a designer ear thermometer, but changing that would be like changing the entire brand at this point.

Womanizer has officially traded in their leopard print and “edgy” tattoo art for much more subdued and mature designs. Mine is red with a rose print, but overall, the company is clearly moving towards solid colors and metallic accents. The gaudy Swarovski crystal button has shrunk to about 1/4th of its original size. And the shape of this model (which actually looks like a conscious design choice now) is shorter, thicker, and more ergonomic at 4.5″ x 2.5″. It even feels nicer; the entire toy is covered in a velvety soft matte finish, instead of having a portion that feels like plain ol’ cheap plastic.

The controls have changed ever-so-slightly, but are even more intuitive and user-friendly. The crystal now acts as the power button, which has to be held for a few seconds to turn the toy on/off. (My only complaint is that it’s a little pointy and can be uncomfortable to press.) The intensity of the toy is controlled by a long chrome button, plainly marked with + and -. This is a huge improvement over the original, as it means that you can actually control the intensity in both directions!

Speaking of intensity, my Pro has a total of 8 settings — adding one super soft mode and one super power mode to the original 6. (Their website states that newer models have 12 settings instead, adding even more variety and control for the user.) 

The Womanizer W500 Pro still uses the same air-pulse technology that feels a whole lot like gentle suction to most people. It’s still made from body-safe and nonporous ABS plastic with replaceable silicone nozzles. It still lights up red in the dark, like a demonic little clit-beacon. And it’s still rechargeable via a mini-USB port. (The toy will flash red when it needs to be charged and flash green while it is charging. Once charged, the green light will remain constant. Womanizer states that a full 2-hour charge can provide up to 240 minutes of use, likely on the lowest setting.)

There is one small improvement though. Womanizer lists the W500 model as being “waterproof IPX7.” What does this mean? It means that the toy can be submerged in water up to 3 feet deep for up to 30 minutes. If you’re a lengthy masturbator like me, I probably wouldn’t use this toy in the bath. (The user manual says not to use the toy for over 15 minutes anyway — but come on.) However, this new rating does make cleaning much simpler.

The Womanizer W500 Pro comes packaged in a sturdy cardboard box, tastefully printed to match and show off the design elements of the toy. Included are 2 silicone nozzles (one standard size and one XL size), a USB charging cord with AC adapter, and a lengthy & sometimes hilarious user manual. (“Wind kiss” is totally a phrase that they use at one point.) Instead of the W100’s awesome soft-shell case, the W500 comes with a simple satin storage bag.

I wanted to provide you all with a detailed comparison between the Womanizer W100 and my newer W500 Pro for this review. Unfortunately, it appears that my original has died in storage sometime over the last few months/years. (It still blinks like it is charging, but never actually completes a charge or turns on. I suppose that you can tell how often I’ve actually gone back and used it.) So instead, I will be forced to rely on vague memories and my last review.

The most noticeable improvement for me is definitely the increased control over the Womanizer W500 Pro’s intensity. My main problem with the W100 was that there was no way to slowly decrease the pulsing power. It would unsuspectingly rip my orgasms out of me and then end them with torturous over-stimulation. The whole experience may have had some pleasurable undertones, but it inevitably made my masturbation sessions feel surreal and incomplete.

The buildup with the Womanizer W500 Pro can still be a little frustrating. The air pulses feel like gentle fluttering vibrations (thuddier on lower levels, but incredibly fast on higher ones).  Attempting to get the nozzle in the perfect position around my clitoris — and keep it there — is near impossible, and I still liken it to oral sex; a constant teasing dance of hitting the right spot and then losing it before ultimately reaching a mind-shattering orgasm. Of course, if I max out the intensity, I can force an orgasm in about 60 seconds. But doing that also drastically increases my chances of over-stimulation.

And that’s exactly what makes the Pro so much better than the original: my orgasms do not always have to end with uncomfortable disappointment. It has taken some practice, but because I am now able to slowly back off the intensity, I can often ride out my orgasms in a more natural fashion. If I’m being careful, I can even succeed in having multiples without needing to rip the toy away from my body. I feel satiated instead of frustrated; it just takes some masturbation mindfulness that I’m not always willing to give. 

A few other things to note…

For my body, I couldn’t tell much of a difference in the nozzle sizes. The XL only seemed to muffle the sensation a little bit, but not necessarily in a way that helped me avoid overstimulation.

I also can’t say for sure if the noise level is exactly the same as the W100, but from the size of my cat’s tail and the freaked out look on his face, I can certainly say that it can be…unsettlingly loud. In fact, I would compare this model to an idling truck — or god forbid that you don’t get the nozzle settled quite right against your skin, an industrial fan. Rarely does a sex toy’s noise make a difference to me (I am, after all, a Hitachi Super Fan), but it’s probably my least favorite thing about this version. The Womanizer website boasts a “silent mode” for newer models, and I am very curious to know if it actually makes a difference.

Because air pulsing stimulation is a unique and sometimes frustrating beast, I’m not sure if my overall recommendation differs much from the original Womanizer.

Despite the fact that the Pro offers more intensity settings and better control, it may still be too overwhelming for individuals who do not enjoy pinpoint clitoral stimulation. However, I will say that this model was a definite improvement. If you already know that you like these types of toys, but maybe haven’t played around with one since the Womanizer W100, this could be a good upgrade for you. For me, I’m glad that I have this toy around (especially since my original died), but realistically I know that I won’t reach for it often. Wand vibrators are just more my style. 

If you still haven’t made up your mind, I highly recommend checking out Lilly’s Womanizer & Satisfyer Comparison Guide (as she includes many other models) and reviews for newer Womanizer toys such as the Classic, Premium, Starlet, Duo, and Liberty. The sex toy world is constantly evolving and I certainly haven’t kept up with it as well as other bloggers have in the last couple of years. 

Pros: innovative air technology, unique sensation, pinpoint clitoral stimulation, body-safe & nonporous, 8 intensity settings, easy to turn down intensity, removable nozzle tips for easy cleaning, somewhat waterproof, rechargeable

Cons: horrible name, makes loud & weird gurgling noise, nozzle glows red (can be distracting for some), can still provide overwhelming clitoral stimulation, expensive gamble, older model


Huge thanks to Womanizer for providing me with this product in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. 

Fun Factory Lady Bi Review

The Fun Factory Lady Bi is a dual stimulation vibrator most commonly known as a “rabbit.” If you’ve somehow been living under a rock since the Great Rabbit Obsession of 1998 (sparked by a problematic “sex toy addiction” episode of Sex and the City), a rabbit is an internal vibrator that has an additional arm for external clitoral pleasure.

Sounds great, right?

There’s just one little problem… Everyone’s genitals are different! 

Many individuals have purchased rabbit vibes only to get home, cozy up in a nest of blankets, and sadly realize that the clitoral arm does NOT match their anatomy. Maybe it’s too short and only vaguely brushes against their clit, like a socially awkward stranger who sneaks past in a crowded room. Or maybe it’s too long and rests atop their mons pubis like a vibrating beached whale. Maybe the shape and position is just awkward enough that it jabs and pokes the clit like an emergency (failed) orgasm button.

My point is: Rabbits are tricky — and this is no exception.

Fun Factory Lady BiThe Lady Bi reminds me of a flower, mostly because of the petal-like appearance of its clitoral arm and a few gentle ridges along the slightly curved shaft. Overall, the toy is of fairly average size, but the proportions can be a little surprising. For example, the total length is approximately 8.75″ but only 4.75″ of that is insertable due to the large handle and the position of the clitoral arm. The diameter also increases quite suddenly, starting at less than 1″ and maxing out at approximately 1.75″ before it briefly dips back down again.

The clitoral arm is 1.75″ long and it branches out from the shaft at approximately a 50° angle. However, it’s important to note that the arm is made to be flexible and will extend to at least a 70° angle with minimal force or pressure. (I was a little nervous to push it any further.) This should allow for more comfort when used with a variety of unique bodies.

As per Fun Factory standards, the Lady Bi is both body-safe & nonporous. It is made from hard ABS plastic covered with a layer of matte silicone. The silicone itself is fairly tough, giving the toy very minimal squish but maintaining a surprising amount of flexibility. It’s available in 3 colors: violet (pictured here), ultramarine blue, and india red. Although I love how velvety smooth the silicone finish is, I have noticed that it creates a fair amount of drag during insertion (add more lube!) and it likes to attract a lot of dust, hair, & lint in storage.

The glossy white plastic handle is one of Fun Factory‘s signature styles. It has a hollow chrome-plated center, giving you more options on how to comfortably hold the toy during use. It also has 3 buttons for controlling the vibrations of both motors. The bottom button is the famous red FUN button, which simply turns the toy on & off. The middle button controls the motor in the shaft and the top button controls the motor in the arm.

Fun Factory Lady Bi - ChargerEach of these 2 buttons cycle through 6 vibration modes, starting with 3 steady intensities before switching to various rhythms/pulsation patterns. The manual also describes ways to travel lock the toy. (Lock = holding down the FUN button + the shaft button. Unlock = holding down the FUN button + the arm button.) You can even “save” your favorite vibration combination by holding down the FUN button for 3 seconds. This way, the Lady Bi will remember that specific setting the next time you turn it on — rather than starting from scratch on the factory settings. (You can later remove this saved setting by holding the FUN button for 6 seconds.)

The Lady Bi is completely waterproof and rechargeable via a magnetic USB cable. (Fun Factory does not include an AC charging adapter, but you can add one to your order at SheVibe for an additional $7.) According to the user manual, this vibrator does take a painfully long 8 hours to complete a full charge — and that only gave me approximately 35 minutes, running both motors on high. This seems so abysmal that I’m wondering if mine is actually faulty.

Because I received this product as a special review item from SheVibe, I do not have the official packaging to photograph. However, I can honestly say that I have never been disappointed with the quality of Fun Factory’s package designs. (Check out my reviews for both the Bootie & the Bouncer if that sort of thing is important to you.)

Although my review will focus on using this toy vaginally, I do want to point out that this vibrator is also anal safe. The arm will essentially act as a “base” & prevent the toy from accidentally being pulled into the booty during use. So despite the gendered name & much of the marketing heavily implying that it is solely a vaginal/clitoral vibrator, definitely don’t write the Lady Bi off if your anatomy doesn’t match. It can totally be used to stimulate the anus & the perineum instead!

Fun Factory Lady Bi - flex

First of all, I want to rejoice in the SURPRISING fact that this rabbit vibrator actually reaches my clitoris! This is a first for me, as most dual-stimulation toys seem to fall just a wee-bit too short for my anatomy. (The distance from my vaginal opening to my clitoris is approximately 1.25 inches.) I won’t lie; it’s a little validating to finally find a toy that doesn’t treat my genitals like an anomaly. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that using the Fun Factory Lady Bi is without its issues.

It still takes a lot of effort to position the toy in a way that creates orgasm-inducing pleasure. I usually have to spread my inner labia out of the way and use the surrounding skin to gently pull my clitoral hood up as well. Only then does the arm come into direct contact with my clit in a way that makes my nerve endings stand up and shout. If I need to use my hand for something else (like holding my phone to watch porn) or if it simply starts cramping up, I am left with only one other option: shove the Lady Bi in as far as it will go & smash the arm against my clit as much as possible. Not exactly an efficient (or super comfortable) form of masturbation.

However, none of that bothers me quite as much as the insertable portion of this vibrator — and it’s hard to describe exactly what I don’t like about it. The issues are all tiny & inconsequential on their own, but together they seem to create a laundry list of annoyance.

The insertable length feels awkwardly too short. The slight upward curve does nothing to actually reach or massage my G-spot (let alone my deeper A-spot, like the toy’s marketing material sometimes claims). This disconnect with anything remotely pleasurable inside of my vagina is even more pronounced because I have to aim the toy slightly towards my back in order to use the clitoral arm. And let’s not forget the sudden 1.75″ bulge that I mentioned earlier. When I insert the toy deep enough to receive clitoral stimulation, that firm & unforgiving bulge rests uncomfortably at the entrance of my vagina; not exactly a location that I enjoy feeling stretched. 

But those vibrations!

Fun Factory Lady Bi - manuals

The vibrations in the Lady Bi‘s internal motor completely save this toy. They are deep & rumbly and they easily travel through my body, making up for how the shape fails me. Without any effort, the vibrations stimulate my internal clitoris in the most glorious ways. Although I still prefer the highest steady vibration mode, I can also reach orgasm relatively easily on the middle setting. (Something that is not incredibly common for me.) And I love using the tip of the internal portion as an external clit vibe too.

Granted, the motor in the clitoral arm cannot compete. It is weak & buzzy on its own and it tickles or numbs my clit more than anything else. But the main internal motor is so strong that the vibrations actually travel through the clitoral arm and provide a more pleasurable sensation than that second motor can on its own. And if I have both motors maxed out, my genitals become overwhelmed by vibrations and I love it.

(It’s important to note that because of how strong the vibrations are, they also travel through the hard plastic handle very well. This isn’t something that I usually notice, but my hand becomes incredibly numb & tingly after using this toy. It’s still not a deal breaker for me, but it could be for others.)

Fun Factory Lady BiI have to be in the right mood to use the Fun Factory Lady Bi. I need to be craving lazy stationary masturbation, where I don’t thrust against my G-spot with wild abandon. (Thrusting with the Lady Bi breaks my body’s contact with the clitoral arm and interrupts my pleasure.) I need to desire an orgasm that is brought upon me by a toy, with minimal effort of my own — but also with internal stimulation, ruling out my beloved & very trusted wands.

When I am in the right mood and the stars do align, the Lady Bi actually provides me with some of the strongest & longest orgasms that I have ever encountered. Amazingly, none of the stimulation is so strong or direct that I need to pull away prematurely. Instead, I get to ride the waves of an orgasm that seems to keep going for minutes. And that’s pretty impressive.

Overall, I am surprisingly impressed with this toy — even if it won’t be one that I reach for consistently. But as a reviewer, it would be irresponsible of me to blindly recommend any rabbit vibrator to others simply because of the issue of varying anatomies. If you’re like me, a $150+ sex toy is not something that you want to take a giant risk on. It’s much easier to find two toys that you genuinely enjoy — one for internal use & one for external. (Plus, you’ll get to mix & match later!)

If you are still determined to find a good rabbit vibrator, money is not an issue, and similar toys have been too short & stubby to reach your clitoris, the Lady Bi may possibly work for you like it does for me. I’d still recommend measuring the distance between your vagina & your clit and comparing that with the specifications of this toy though. And above all, try to temper your expectations.

Pros: body-safe & nonporous silicone, anal safe, rechargeable, waterproof, multiple vibration settings/patterns, dual stimulation, easy-to-use controls, incredibly strong & rumbly vibrations in the internal motor

Cons: rabbits are inherently problematic for all unique bodies, expensive gamble, proportions may feel awkward, clitoral arm has buzzy vibrations, long charge time and potentially short play time


Huge thanks to my lovely affiliate, SheVibe, for providing me with this toy in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. If you’re interested in purchasing the Fun Factory Lady Bi, you can find it here

Nalone Electro Wand Review

Nalone Electro WandThe Nalone Electro Wand is a 2-in-1 sex toy. It doubles as both your standard wand-style vibrator and an e-stim toy — emitting electromagnetic pulses through a thin metal ring that circles the head of the wand.

It is relatively small for a wand massager, measuring approximately 1.5″ at its widest point and less than 9″ long. Made from silicone and ABS plastic, the vibrator should be both nonporous & body-safe. Its hot pink silicone has a nice matte finish that is velvety soft to the touch & doesn’t attract much dust or lint. In contrast, the ABS plastic has a super-shiny chrome effect that (in my opinion) only serves to look cheap, tacky, and potentially unsafe for internal use.

The toy boasts 2 separate vibration motors: one in the head and another in the handle. It is rechargeable via a small “self-healing silicone” port (a charging connection that doesn’t require a protective cover). The manual claims 2.5 hours of use for every 3-hour charge. It is also listed as being 100% waterproof, which I assume is primarily for cleaning; combining water + electro sex toys personally gives me pause.

The Electro Wand has a somewhat complicated 4-button control system… and it doesn’t help that my experience differs from what the user manual claims.

Nalone Electro Wand - buttons

  • The top button [lightning bolt + wedge] cycles through 3 electromagnetic intensity levels. (The manual claims that this button cycles through 5 electromagnetic “modes” but I don’t feel any difference aside from strength.)
  • The second button [lightning bolt power symbol] turns on/off the electromagnetic function. (The manual claims that this button also cycles through the strength of the pulses, but it only appears to function as the power switch for me.)
  • The 3rd button [wand head + squiggle] controls the vibration motor in the head of the wand: turning it on/off and cycling through 7 different modes.
  • The bottom button [downward arrow + squiggle] controls the motor in the handle of the wand: also turning it on/off and cycling through the 7 modes.

The product packaging is simple and tasteful, even if the quality does feel a bit like dollar store luxury. The toy arrives in a baby pink cardboard box covered with a black slipcase. (The slipcase features images of the toy as well as product specs.) Inside, the vibrator is cushioned by a foam insert covered in white satin. Also included is a purple velvet travel/storage pouch, USB charging cord, user manual, 1-year warranty card, and a small Nalone product catalog.

Nalone Electro Wand-1, Mandi-0

Nalone Electro WandThe Nalone Electro Wand & I got off to a bad start. A real bad start.

At first, testing it on my arms & legs produced absolutely zero zappy effects. I could feel a little once I placed my fingers directly on it, and a little more when I added some water-based lube. But overall, it was still widely disappointing and extremely unpredictable. One moment I would feel a light “pins & needles” tickle jumping through my nerves. Then I would move ever so slightly and lose that feeling altogether. And yet somehow, in trying to find it again, I would occasionally be met with a sharp painful jolt. Completely confused, the obvious next step was to rush into testing this toy on my genitals. Wrong! So very, very wrong. 

I shocked the hell out of my clitoris, folks. 

It was easily the most painful second of my entire life and I spent a few additional moments tucked into a ball, rocking back and forth on my bed, whimpering pathetically. Believe me when I say that this is the only toy I was actually happy to avoid when my libido crashed.

But I’m a professional masturbator. So I put on my big (demi)girl panties and charged this fucker up again.

Round Two

First, I spent some time reacquainting myself with the controls and the electromagnetic intensity levels in the palm of my hand. I used a bit of water-based lube, because I still was not able to feel anything without it. (Even on the highest setting, I can hear the electricity more than feel it.)

Nalone Electro Wand - boxWith lube, the lowest setting produces a quick-but-dinstinct pulsing pattern through my skin; beating so fast that it reminds me of a tiny mouse’s heart. When I switch to the middle setting, I experience a brief moment of stabbing pain, followed by what I would compare to a very buzzy vibrator being left on one area of the body for too long. The tingles travel through my fingers, making them feel numb. And every once in a while, my muscles will clench & my hand will freeze up. On the highest setting, I experience a very low level pain practically identical to when part of your body falls asleep but you still force it to move. The tingly numbness remains for a few minutes after I take the Electro Wand away.

Feeling ever-so-slightly confident, I decided to try introducing this toy to my vulva again. I slathered my body and the head of the wand in water-based lube, turned the electromagnetic pulse level to its lowest setting, and started cautiously touching it to my labia. Nothing. I turned it up a notch. I definitely feel it. It tingles in a soft “pins & needles” sort of way; mildly pleasurable on my labia but more painful as I near my clitoris. Once I got accustomed to the sensation, I decided to be brave & max it out on the 3rd setting. It’s hard to explain. It’s like having the blade of a sharp knife traced across the skin. It’s uncomfortable, but not painful. The mindfuck is the worst part, always there to remind me of the that one excruciating moment when I traumatized my clit.

And if I turn the vibrations on, the Electro Wand becomes just another vibrator — and a mediocre one at that. Even on the lowest setting, the vibrations completely mask the electromagnetic pulses. The vibrations are strong(ish), but surface-level. It’s the age-old buzzy vibe conundrum. It takes time to reach orgasm… but the longer I use the vibe, the more my clitoris becomes numb to the sensation.

Why does this thing have 2 motors?!

Nalone Electro WandIt’s important to note that although there is a motor in the handle of the Nalone Electro Wand, it is an incredibly stupid idea. The large seams around the chrome would make insertion uncomfortable for many (and potentially scratch the inside of the vagina). It would be a pain to clean vaginal fluids off the charging port. And the buttons would become useless when buried in labial folds. Not to mention, I’m not entirely convinced that the chrome finish won’t flake off over time. Mine has one tiny chip in it already. And although it is too small to even photograph, I really don’t want that stuff getting left inside of my vagina.

To really drive home the point that this was a giant design mistake, the handle motor feels much weaker than the head. For me, it doesn’t even function as a successful clit vibe.

But Safety Though.

Another thing that I absolutely hate about the Nalone Electro Wand is that the manual mentions e-stim safety exactly ZERO times. Seriously. The “Warnings” and “Safety Recommendations” include things like washing your toy, making sure that it’s fully charged before use, not sharing your toy, and choosing the “most suitable vibration mode for yourself.” I’m not kidding.

Nalone is not a company that specializes in electrosex products. Because of that, they have completely overlooked the importance of providing safety information to customers who are most likely electrosex beginners. When I attempted to contact them for more details (type of current, intensity, frequency, etc), the UK division directed me to their US side of operations — whose website & e-mail are now apparently defunct.Nalone Electro Wand

So, my official sex educator advice is as follows…

To play it safe, adhere to the standard e-stim rules:

  • Do not use this toy on areas above the waist, especially near the brain or heart. (This is hugely important when you have 2+ connection points that can pass an electrical current, but is good beginner’s advice all around.)
  • Do not use this toy if you are pregnant.
  • Do not use this toy if you have a heart condition or any sort of implanted medical device (example: pacemakers).
  • Do not use this toy if you have epilepsy.
  • Do not use this toy on body piercings with metal jewelry.
  • Do not use this toy on open sores or skin abrasions.

For the strength & type of electrical pulse used in this toy, these rules may be overly cautious — but I simply do not know. If you have specific questions about your particular body, try asking your doctor. And if you’re nervous about mentioning kinky sex toys to them (or fear that they won’t have the knowledge to answer those questions), try asking about TENS units — which people often use for pain relief. From my limited e-stim experience with both a cheap Zeus Power Box & the Kinklab Neon Wand, this toy seems to provide sensations that are more similar to TENS units (sharper, deeper-traveling) than they are to milder electrostatic toys (tingly, skin/surface-level).

The sensations produced by the Nalone Electro Wand weren’t terrible (most of the time)… but I also didn’t find them pleasurable. The pulses lean towards the more stabby end of the spectrum for me — especially when compared to my beloved Kinklab Neon Wand. Plus, the electromagnetic ring is so small and the placement against my skin has to be so incredibly precise that it’s just annoying & makes the toy feel inconsistent. (My electrosex-loving partner actually refuses to touch the toy for this reason).

All of this, paired with the mediocre vibrations and the fact that Nalone is irresponsible about educating their customers on basic safety, means that I cannot ethically recommend this toy. There are much higher quality products out there for approximately the same price ($139). My advice would be to try the Neon Wand ($100-150), a Mystim TENS unit (like this one: $160), or a Mystim E-Stim Vibe (like these: $100-150) if you’re interested in venturing into the world of electosex.

Pros: nonporous & body-safe silicone, 2-in-1 toy (vibration + electro) toy, multiple settings, rechargeable, waterproof

Cons: finicky electromagnetic pulses, zero information on electrosex safety, mediocre/buzzy vibrations, confusingly has a second motor in the handle despite the fact that it has large uncomfortable seams, chrome plating may chip off, feels surprisingly cheap for the high price tag


Special thanks to my affiliate, Peepshow Toys, for providing me with this toy in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. They have taken my opinion of this product to heart & have since decided to remove the Nalone Electro Wand from their website…  But you can still check out their selection of Mystim toys instead!

And don’t forget to save 10% off your purchase by using discount code “Mandi” at checkout!

L’amourose Rosa Rouge Review

description text

L'amourose Rosa RougeThe L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a beautiful & modestly-sized G-spot vibrator known for its powerful rumbly vibrations. It has a gently curving shaft, a distinct edge on the bottom of its tapered head, and a relatively large oval base which serves as both a handle & a vibrating dual-stimulation option (if your anatomy lines up). But what makes this toy truly unique is that it heats up — on purpose! 

The Rosa Rouge has simple 3-button controls. The + and – buttons increase and decrease the vibration intensity along 12 different speeds, in addition to turning the toy on and off. These 2 buttons can also be used to lock the vibrator when pressed & held simultaneously. The middle button (a sort of yin-yang shape) controls both the heating function and the vibration patterns. With one prolonged press of the yin-yang symbol, the head of the Rosa Rouge will begin heating up to a level that is comfortably above body temperature (104-107 degrees Fahrenheit). If this button is pressed again, the toy will start cycling through its 9 vibration patterns: combinations of waves & pulses that often alternate between the two motors in the head & the base.

The toy measures 6″ in total length (approximately 4″ insertable) and 1.5″ in diameter at it’s widest point. Although the body of the toy is incredibly firm to the touch, the shaft does employ what L’amourose calls their “Flex & Shift” technology; simply meaning that the shaft will give a little in order to accommodate your body. It’s important to note that although this is often thought of as a vaginal vibrator, the base (1.75″ wide x 3″ long) makes it safe for anal play as well.

Like most high-quality toys, the Rosa Rouge is nonporous & body-safe, waterproof, and rechargeable. The majority of the toy is covered in a velvety smooth, matte silicone that doesn’t attract much dust/hair and creates very little drag. The bottom of the base and the charging dock are made from hard ABS plastic molded to look like a faceted gemstone. L’amourose reports that each 2-hour charge will give you up to 70 minutes of maximum speed/heated playtime, with an impressive 60-100 day standby when kept in storage. It is available in only one color: red (or rouge, obviously). However, if the heating ability doesn’t appeal to you, the regular Rosa is available in emerald (a beautiful teal color), cerise (hot pink), or black.

L’amourose prides themselves on being luxurious and the Rosa Rouge certainly arrives in style. Packaged within a ribbon-wrapped cardboard gift box, you’ll also receive a velvet storage/travel bag, magnetic charging dock & USB charging cord (complete with DC adaptor), water-based lube sample, user manual, and authenticity card (which will come in handy if you need to use the 18-month warranty or lifetime quality guarantee). Unwrapping this toy reminded me of buying my first Lelo product — except this time, I was actually impressed with the vibrations.

Unfortunately, that positive first impression didn’t last very long.


The Rosa Malfunction & Ensuing Communication Collapse


Rosa Rouge packaging

December 23rd 2014: I was contacted by L’amourose about reviewing some of their products. Although I eagerly responded the following day, I never received a confirmation or an update about shipping. After a couple of months, I simply assumed that they had changed their mind.

March 3rd 2015: I received an unexpected package from an unknown sender; L’amourose had graciously sent me not only the Rose Rouge, but the Paramour set as well!

After [im]patiently waiting for my new toys to charge, I started cycling through the different patterns… and the entire unit suddenly shut off. It wouldn’t turn back on. I poked at the buttons for a while, heartbroken & wondering what had happened. As a last resort, I put it back on the charging dock. The Rosa lit up again and I was able to power it on. But the toy suffered the same malfunction approximately half of the times that I tried to cycle through the patterns. I never knew when it would die on me and so it was essentially unusable.

Over the next couple of days, I corresponded with my contact at L’amourose to let them know about the faulty product and send them the specific serial number.

March 25th and April 24th: I sent follow-up e-mails. Silence.

April 29th: I decided to send an e-mail to Customer Care. My original contact was apparently no longer with the company (or at least in a “different role”), but I was promised a replacement product and put into contact with another employee.

June 15th: I was asked to confirm my address and was told I would be sent a shipping date.

October 10th and December 7th: More follow-up e-mails. More silence.

December 22nd 2015: A full year after my initial contact with the company, almost 10 months from receiving my defective Rosa Rouge, and more than 6 months since I had even heard from them… I received another mystery package containing the Rosa Rouge, the Prism VII, and a rather lovely hand-written note. Another gracious gift & a wonderful touch, that’s for sure — but to be honest, I had completely given up on them by this point.


Worth the wait?


Rosa Rouge doubleThe Rosa Rouge definitely has some hella powerful, rumbly AF vibrations. The only toy that I can even think to compare it to would be the We-Vibe Rave. When closely feeling for a difference, the Rave seems just a smidge more powerful to me. (Probably why I have a slightly easier time reaching clitoral orgasms with it.) But I would argue that the Rosa might actually have deeper and more thuddy/rumbly vibrations. Either way, both toys give me that ‘open-eyed, gasping in surprise’ reaction the moment they come into contact with my G-spot.

That’s another thing that I love about the Rosa Rouge; it is a master of finding & caressing my G-spot. The curve is perfect for my anatomy and the gentle ridge at the base of the head absolutely drives me wild as it drags across the front wall of my vagina. At first, I was concerned about the “Flex & Shift” technology. Pressure is usually what I need when aiming for a strong blended orgasm. (Hence my love for both the We-Vibe Rave & the Jopen Comet II.) But the Rosa Rouge surprised me.

The ever-so-slight give in the structure of this vibrator allows me to thrust it without pain or fear of getting the head hooked behind my pubic bone. Unlike most G-spot products, where the intense curve necessitates that I keep the toy stationary & squash my G-spot into submission, I can actually use the Rosa like a partner’s curved fingers.

And the patterns! Normally, vibration patterns do nothing for me; my vagina has a type and that type is ‘strong & consistent.’ But the Rosa’s vibrations are so powerful that when using a pulsing pattern, it gives me nearly the same sensation as if I were manually thrusting the toy. Instead of repeatedly moving the head towards & away from my G-spot, the vibrations simply start and stop. And with the pulse, I don’t risk losing rhythm when I’m about to orgasm. The Rosa Rouge just keeps humming along.

To be honest, there’s nothing about the Rosa Rouge that I absolutely hate; there’s just a few small aspects of the toy that do not work for me as an individual. And although I believe that these issues are easily overshadowed by the pure power of this crimson beast, they could easily create larger disappointments for others.

For example: The “dual stimulation” idea (with one motor in the base of the toy) doesn’t work for my body, because it simply cannot reach my clit. The base is also not the most comfortable handle; I can live with it, but I sometimes end my masturbation session with a case of  “the claw.” And the heating function? It’s okay for external vibrations (the only way I can really feel it), but I wouldn’t pay extra for this feature if I were buying the toy myself.

L'amourose Rosa RougeThe L’amourose Rosa Rouge is a high quality (and truly luxurious) sex toy with more oomph than most every other rechargeable vibrator on the market. However, this is one instance where you will most certainly pay for it. At $199-$249 ($159-$189 for the plain non-heating Rosa), this is officially one of the most expensive toys in my collection. It’s not exactly a price point that is within the average person’s budget… and that makes it hard for me to enthusiastically recommend this product to my readers. Especially when I believe that there are non-heating – but equally impressive – options that will save you a little cash!

I also can’t forget how long it took for L’amourose to get a replacement mailed out to me and how difficult that process was. I’d like to say that I have more faith in their ability to please paying customers, but on the other hand, bloggers have the unique power to tear down a company with bad publicity. I am simply not confident enough to promise that their warranty process would be easy were you to also receive a faulty toy.

If that risk is too big for you, or if you simply can’t justify/afford the cost of the Rosa Rouge, I do have other suggestions: The aforementioned We-Vibe Rave costs approximately $120 and the L’amourose Prism V sells for as low as $99. (I mention the Prism line because I will soon be reviewing the Prism VII and it also has some majorly swoon-worthy vibrations.)

And of course… If you’d simply like to feel better about purchasing any of these, remember that the Lelo Mona 2 has now increased in price to a ridiculous $170 and those vibrations are not even in the same universe.

Pros: nonporous & body-safe silicone with ABS plastic base, rechargeable, waterproof, heating function, curved specifically for G-spot stimulation, super powerful & rumbly vibrations, multiple intensities & patterns, easy controls, relatively quiet, very approachable size, anal safe

Cons: expensive, may be difficult/uncomfortable for some individuals to hold, relatively short battery life (70 minutes on high), L’amourose can be difficult to contact if there are problems


L'amourose

Special thanks to L’amourose for sending me this product (twice!) in exchange for an honest & unbiased review. If you would like to purchase this toy, please consider buying through one of my affiliates: SheVibe or Peepshow Toys

Jopen Key Aries Review

Jopen Key Aries - boxThe first time that I saw the Jopen Key Aries was at a blowjob workshop that my partner & I attended while touring the sex shops of NYC. It sparked my interest. An unobtrusive, silicone finger vibe certainly has the potential to make oral sex more exciting. However, it was also easily forgettable. I returned home without a single fleeting thought of this little toy… until Bondage Bunnies contacted me about writing a review.

It’s important for me to be honest & admit that I was hesitant. At the time, their selection of body-safe products was severely limited. In fact, Jopen was one of the only trusted brands available through their site. (Their selection has since grown to include a few fabulous brands such as Doxy & Tantus.) Normally, the lack of body-safe toys warrants an instant “nope” from me. But my personal curiosity about the Aries overpowered my mixed feelings on this one.

Let me be clear: My issues with Bondage Bunnies are not personal. They have been both polite & patient while my health problems have delayed this review. However, as a sex educator who is dedicated to body-safe materials, I have a bit of an ethical dilemma about working with companies that offer toxic toys to their customers.

Jopen Key AriesShould we refuse to support these companies until they take our sexual health seriously? Or should we speak with our money, paying for the products that we want to see more of? 

Everyone has different ideas about what it means to be a responsible consumer, and I can’t make that decision for you. What I can do, as a blogger, is speak up. I can tell my readers to be careful.

There are a lot of products described on Bondage Bunnies’ website as “silicone” which I would bet my vagina are actually jelly. There are toys in their “anal beads” section that contain string (a bacterial nightmare). Some are actually mislabeled kegel balls that can get stuck inside of the body if they are mistakingly used in the butt. And of course, there are anal plugs with insufficient bases or retrieval cords that I would not trust for a second.

Jopen Key Aries - batteryIf you know that you’re buying a product created by a trusted & ethical manufacturer, and you find a great deal at Bondage Bunnies…that’s fantastic! But if you’re not sure, please do outside research. Read reviews from sex bloggers. See what people are saying about the product & the company who makes it. Take a moment to see if other (trusted) retailers stock it. You deserve sex toys that will not cause you harm. 

With that being said, I can finally begin my review for the Jopen Key Aries!

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The Aries is your typical finger-style vibrator: a toy that is worn on the hand to provide effortless stimulation during sex play, usually with a partner. It’s small (slightly less than 2.5″ long, 1.75″ tall, and 1″ thick), waterproof, and uses one AAA battery. Jopen offers it in 3 different colors (pink, purple, or turquoise) — but Bondage Bunnies only stocks pink.

Jopen Key Aries - full packageThe Jopen Key Aries is bean-shaped with a “fin” on one side. It can be held between the fingers so that it rests on the inside or the outside of the hand. It is made of two components: a hard ABS plastic vibrator with a twist-open cap and a thin silicone sleeve. The sleeve is removable, which can make cleaning easier… but it’s also extremely snug and difficult to reassemble. The silicone itself has a matte finish and is ribbed for extra sensation.

This vibrator is your basic one-button model. A quick press of the silver “Key” button turns the toy on. Repeated presses allow you to cycle endlessly through the 5 different settings of steady vibrations, pulses, and waves. Pressing & holding the button for about 2 seconds turns the toy off. When turned back on, it will start from the beginning; it will not remember the last setting.

The small cardboard packaging is tastefully designed with images of the toy and basic product information. Inside the box, you’ll find a short instructional sheet (with information on the one-year warranty) and a travel/storage pouch.

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I wanted to like the Jopen Key Aries. …I really did.

Jopen Key AriesJopen generally impresses me. The Key Comet II is one of the best things that has ever touched my G-spot & the Lust L1 is one of the most underrated & unique external vibes I own. With my recent issues surrounding vaginal pain, I had hoped that this little vibe would be a good first step to bringing sexy back.

If only it had power!

At first, I thought that perhaps the problem was my general lack of libido & arousal. (After all, crippling depression + the impending threat of painful orgasms does NOT make for enthusiastic masturbation.) But then I managed to dig through my vibrators, sifting through the ones that have languished and lost their charge over the last several months, and — SURPRISE! Even the PicoBong Kiki 2 (for which I described masturbating as “an absurd test of endurance”) at least makes my clitoris stand up and demand more.

With the Jopen Key Aries, my clit couldn’t care less what happens next. On a good day, the vibrations feel like I am lightly brushing my fingertips over my genitalia after a good, clean shave. There’s sensitivity, but not pleasure. When I apply the toy directly to my clit, the buzzy vibrations feel good for about 30 seconds before I am completely numb. And if there’s any thrusting going on (with my partner or a sex toy), you might as well be holding a potato to my crotch.

Jopen Key Aries - in hand

My penis-having partner, on the other hand, quite likes this toy. He is much more sensitive to vibrations than I am. (He can even feel them traveling through my fingertips!) And while the Aries still isn’t powerful enough to bring him to orgasm by itself, it certainly increases his pleasure. We’ve found that it makes for a great addition to blowjobs and handjobs, particularly when held against the frenulum, testicles, or perineum. It may not be versatile enough for both of us, but I am happy that it works for him.

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Jopen Key Aries - in boxMaybe I wasn’t being very realistic, but I wanted more out of the $20 Jopen Key Aries. Sure, it’s small and convenient. It doesn’t get in the way during sex. And it only kind of makes my hand go numb from its buzzy vibrations. But there is literally no possible way for me to orgasm with this thing. I had expected a motor that was reminiscent of Jopen’s other toys. And although they do make a rechargeable finger vibe (the Key Pyxis), I can’t say if it’s any better.

With so many high quality external vibes on the market, I feel confident in telling you to look elsewhere. Invest a little bit more money into the delightfully rumbly We-Vibe Tango or Touch. They may be slightly larger, but I actually think that makes them even more comfortable to hold. And they certainly have a better range of vibrations!

2star

Pros: body-safe silicone & ABS plastic, small & convenient design for partnered sex play, waterproof, affordable

Cons: very weak & buzzy vibrations, not rechargeable (takes one AAA battery), may be difficult or uncomfortable to hold for some individuals, vibrations may make fingers numb and/or tingly


Special thanks to Bondage Bunnies for sending me this product free in exchange for my honest & unbiased review. 

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If you would like to purchase the Jopen Key Aries, you can do so here