The Paramour is a 3-in-1 sex toy set for (primarily heterosexual) couples, created by the luxurious L’amourose: a relatively new company that has been taking the sex blogging community by storm. It consists of a one-button vibrating bullet made from hard (ABS) plastic & three silicone attachments. (Purchased separately, these would be known as Lana, Mae, & Clark.) It also comes with a remote control that doubles as a magnetic charging base — a convenience that I absolutely adore.

The Paramour arrives in multiple layers of packaging that is reminiscent of Lelo. First, there is a thin cardboard slipcase featuring elegant & artistic photo representations of the toys. Inside of that, the toys are nestled into a much more sturdy & plain black box that would be appropriate for long-term storage. Additionally, there is a separate thin box that contains the charging cord, tiny travel adapter (so that you don’t have to bring the larger remote control/base), warranty card, 140-page instruction manual, lubricant sample, and fancy velvet storage pouch.

Lana

As a sex blogger who has never tried an actual We-Vibe (but very much wants to), the first thing that my partner and I did was use the Lana in the same hands-free fashion: I inserted the thin silicone piece into my vagina, with the bullet resting near my clitoris, and we had PIV sex. I was genuinely surprised by how well the toy stayed in place, even with my partner’s vigorous thrusting. However, the bullet just wasn’t “doing it” for me. The hard plastic was very uncomfortable when it would get pressed against my body and the placement wasn’t ideal for my genital anatomy. I can’t help but think that if the bullet was vertical instead of horizontal, it may be able to reach the clitorises of more individuals and potentially be nestled more comfortably between fleshy labia.

I also tried the Lana with the thin silicone portion inserted anally and the bullet vibrating against the bottom of my vaginal opening & perineum. This was moderately more enjoyable — until the vibrations became too numbing and annoying for my butt to handle.

Mae

When my Paramour set first arrived, my partner and I were extremely excited about the Mae. We’ve always fantasized about him secretly teasing me in public and a remote-controlled vibrating egg seemed like the perfect way for us to act on this fantasy. Unfortunately, we were wrong.

Reading the instruction manual, I quickly discovered a major problem: You have to turn on the vibrating bullet separate from the remote control. Obviously, this makes using it in public much more complicated. Either you have to turn it on & insert the egg at home (wasting precious battery life) or excuse yourself to a public restroom in order to get “set up.” And if you enjoy anxiously anticipating when your partner may blast you with a wave of pleasure…too bad.

According to L’amourose, the remote control has a range of 15 meters (almost 50 feet). The ~ button cycles through the 5 vibration patterns &  the large touch pad controls vibration intensity (which is acceptable, but nothing spectacular for a Power Queen like myself). You can even use Memory Mode to record your own 10-second pattern.

All of this would be great — if it worked. Unfortunately, I find the buttons surprisingly difficult to press & the touch pad not immediately responsive. Worst of all, the toy seems to have a lot of trouble maintaining a connection through my body. I am left pressing the ~ button over & over again, waiting for some internal vibrational change to occur…but it rarely does. It occasionally works if I’m holding the remote right up against my vulva, but more often than not, I have to remove the bullet in order to reconnect with the remote control.

Note: Despite what the instruction manual says, I recommend that the Mae should be a vaginal toy only. Without a flared base, it is NOT anal safe! 

Clark

Although this is a fairly basic cock ring, it was probably our favorite of the three attachments. The silicone stretched over my partner without any trouble, it was comfortable for him to wear, and I received much more pleasure out of it during partnered sex than I did with the Lana. With the bullet resting on top of my partner’s penis, not only was it coming into regular contact with my clitoris, but the vibrations also traveled very well through his shaft — essentially turning him into a human vibrator. (The ring can also be worn with the bullet resting at the bottom of the penis, vibrating against the testicles.)

Charging, Quality Concerns, Etc.

According to the L’amourose website, the Paramour bullet is supposed to last 1.5 hours on a 1-hour charge and have a 100-day standby time. This has not been my experience. First of all, it’s difficult to tell how long it actually takes my Paramour to reach full charge. Although the instruction manual states that the blinking light will remain illuminated once charging is complete, mine will at times go 12+ hours blinking away like nothing is happening — or it may blink for only an hour like it’s supposed to. I never quite know what to expect.

Secondly, I’ve found that the bullet stops vibrating somewhere between 30-60 minutes if run continuously. And although I don’t know exactly how quickly it’s losing the charge while in storage, I do know that it’s much less than 100 days. In the 93 days that I’ve owned this toy, it has already destroyed my plans on 2 separate occasions by refusing to turn on.

Additionally, I was disappointed by the cheapness of the charger itself. Catering to multiple countries with different electrical outlets, L’amourose provides a charger that features interchangeable prongs. When I was curious about how these were removed and replaced, I gently pressed on the neat little button that conveniently said Push. At that point, the plastic button broke inside of the toy, remaining permanently pressed. Not a huge deal as it doesn’t affect charging, but it’s certainly annoying for such an expensive product.

Considering that I’ve also had major issues with my Rosa Rouge randomly shutting off and refusing to turn back on (for which I’m still waiting on a replacement), I’m very suspicious about the craftsmanship of these toys — and perhaps the response time of customer service. Although it’s always possible that I could just be extremely unlucky.

Bottom Line

Although I really like the idea of interchangeable, multi-purpose toys, I simply cannot recommend the L’amourose Paramour at this time.

I have high standards and (like most individuals) I live on a budget. Any sex toy that costs $239 (or $199/each with remote; $129/each without remote) has to live up to its promises. At the very least, I expect it to work as described — but ideally, it needs to offer something more than other toys on the market. A fussy remote control, a handful of charging issues, and a bullet with only mediocre vibration strength is simply not acceptable.

Also, even though the toy comes with a warranty, I do not feel confident that you’ll be able to negotiate a refund/replacement with the manufacturer in a timely manner. Although I haven’t heard of any other bloggers receiving defective products, it has proven to be a very long & frustrating process for an introvert like myself and something that I think my readers should be aware of.

Pros: body-safe & nonporous, 3-in-1 toy, rechargeable, remote doubles as charging base, storage box & pouch included, elegant design, warranty

Cons: very expensive, remote buttons are hard to press, remote doesn’t appear to work well through skin, must turn on the bullet & remote separately, charging time is unpredictable, battery life appears shorter than advertised, charger itself feels cheap/easily broken, a lot of grooves to clean, questionable craftsmanship & customer service response

I would like to thank L’amourose for providing me with this product in exchange for an honest & unbiased review.